TheWitnessOfSol

Overly avoidant boyfriend

[TheWitnessOfSol @TheWitnessOfSol]

I become honest about my feelings
three months too late.

[TheWitnessOfSol @TheWitnessOfSol]

I'd rather lose the woman I love
than risk needing her.

[TheWitnessOfSol @TheWitnessOfSol]

I rewrite her as "not a fit"
so I don't have to feel needing her.

[TheWitnessOfSol @TheWitnessOfSol]

The Avoidant Boyfriend™:
professionally sabotaging healthy relationships since 2011.

[TheWitnessOfSol @TheWitnessOfSol]

Attachment didn't wait for a label.
It started when I expected her reply.

[TheWitnessOfSol @TheWitnessOfSol]

The ick I feel at her need
is usually a map of mine.

[TheWitnessOfSol @TheWitnessOfSol]

Three months is when my body notices
she's becoming a habit.

[TheWitnessOfSol @TheWitnessOfSol]

Contempt is my body's polite way
of saying I got hurt.

[TheWitnessOfSol @TheWitnessOfSol]

If I never ask for anything,
of course love feels like a tax.

[TheWitnessOfSol @TheWitnessOfSol]

I didn't fall out of love.
I just started looking for reasons to leave.

[TheWitnessOfSol @TheWitnessOfSol]

Normalize admitting the relief
after the good-on-paper breakup.

[TheWitnessOfSol @TheWitnessOfSol]

I want forever until forever requires staying
when she matters.

[TheWitnessOfSol @TheWitnessOfSol]

"We were too young."
"I didn't even want this."

That wasn't clarity.
That was an intellectual exit door
when the love got too deep.

[TheWitnessOfSol @TheWitnessOfSol]

Perfect night.
I felt it.
She left the door open.

I said nothing.

Later I wanted back.
She said no.

Silence was the sabotage.

[TheWitnessOfSol @TheWitnessOfSol]

She starts to matter. I start the exit.

[TheWitnessOfSol @TheWitnessOfSol]

It was working.
Then she started to matter.

So I ended it for "no reason."

She fought.
I let go.

I built the loss
I was terrified of.

[TheWitnessOfSol @TheWitnessOfSol]

Me (losing her): wait — stay — I mean it this time.
Her: you meant it when it was safe to leave.

I only want her
when I'm already losing her.

[TheWitnessOfSol @TheWitnessOfSol]

80% of my relationships ended after ~3 months.
I only noticed at 36.

I wasn't dating.
I was collecting exits
the moment she started to matter.

[TheWitnessOfSol @TheWitnessOfSol]

What if she goes quiet —
what if the next one texts first and means it.

[TheWitnessOfSol @TheWitnessOfSol]

Things I never give when I'm in avoidant mode:

1. Clarity on Tuesday
2. Repair after conflict
3. Morning meaning
4. Plans that survive the weekend
5. Warmth that outlasts closeness
6. Honesty on time
7. Accountability without a disappearing act