Lawrence Miles

Massively uneven Twitter account.

[Lawrence Miles @The_Beasthouse]

@Keir_Starmer Out of interest, should trans people be allowed to watch the Champions League final for free? Or should there be a special ban for them?

[Lawrence Miles @The_Beasthouse]

@osfinEXE I come back to Twitter every couple of weeks to see if I've missed anything important, and...

[Lawrence Miles @The_Beasthouse]

@ehorakova Erin... I don't know what to say, because I'm not really part of your world any more. But.

Hairy Sullivan was a top boy. I'm so sorry he's gone.

[Lawrence Miles @The_Beasthouse]

@ThePunnyWorld Someone's stolen all the vowels from my Scrabble set. I have no words.
Except "tsk".

[Lawrence Miles @The_Beasthouse]

@Keir_Starmer If you're the leader of the Labour Party, you should have at least some sympathy with the principles of the British labour movement rather than enabling the far right. *That's* common sense.

You absolute stain of a man.

[Lawrence Miles @The_Beasthouse]

#DoctorWho people of Twitter: this JPEG might be useful right about now.

(Also, why are you still on Twitter? BlueSky's almost exactly the same, except without the adverts and Nazi apologists.)

[Lawrence Miles @The_Beasthouse]

This headline was so heavily mocked that the BBC changed it, and now there are polar bears going: "Whoa, whoa, whoa. A caravan? You're saying I weigh the same as a caravan?"

[Lawrence Miles @The_Beasthouse]

I mean, it's been clear since 2020 that New New Labour's transition into an explicitly right-wing party would end any meaningful democracy in the UK and lay the ground for a literal fascist takeover. I just wasn't expecting the far right to try speed-running it like this.

[Lawrence Miles @The_Beasthouse]

And I'd like to call on Luigi Mangione to dissolve the American oligarchy.

[ITV News @itvnews]

Elon Musk calls on King to dissolve parliament amid row over grooming gangs https://t.co/kvObYAAh6p

[Lawrence Miles @The_Beasthouse]

#AggedorAllAlong

[Lawrence Miles @The_Beasthouse]

For this year's #DoctorWho, the surprise end-of-season villain should be Aggedor. And the reveal should be a song called "Aggedor All Along".

[Lawrence Miles @The_Beasthouse]

Too niche?

[Lawrence Miles @The_Beasthouse]

@instonveevinder Ivy... I'm 52. I was in my twenties when Gaiman was at his comic-writing peak and doing the convention circuit. And even then, *even then*, there were people recognising what we'd now call Red Flags. It was never "no indication", it was just "no evidence".

[Lawrence Miles @The_Beasthouse]

Over the years / decades, I've had vocal arguments with people I know / people I knew about the obvious terribleness of Neil Gaiman, Richard Dawkins, and Russell Brand. So if nothing else, this has been an "I told you so" sort of year. #Thats2024

[Lawrence Miles @The_Beasthouse]

Okay. Since this was the year when people stopped accusing me of libel for stating the obvious... here, finally, is my Neil Gaiman bit. #Thats2024

[Lawrence Miles @The_Beasthouse]

@the_jackalope_ No no no, I *will* be fucking off from Twitter soon. I'll also be fucking off in other ways, but that's incidental.

[Lawrence Miles @The_Beasthouse]

How does he know I'm fat? I mean, I *am*, but how does he know that? Just going on probabilities, or...?

[Weyoun 9 @Weyoun999]

@The_Beasthouse Who gives a fuck? Now fuck off quicker you sad fat failure

[Lawrence Miles @The_Beasthouse]

No, really, though. I've set up a Mastodon. I know you're all migrating to Bluesky, but there's something specific I want to try next year, and Mastodon's ideal for it. Sooo... yeah, that should be happening. Soon. Ish.

[Lawrence Miles @The_Beasthouse]

You can tell I'm almost done with Twitter because I forgot to put the hat on this year.

[Lawrence Miles @The_Beasthouse]

Anyway, I've set up a Mastodon. I stabbed someone to death with a pair of tusks and left huge footprints near the body.