The Beginners' Guide

Most beginner's guides are for beginners. This is BY beginners. Also on bluesky at

[The Beginners' Guide @The_Beginners]

Pony on a £25 note and monkey on a £500, surely
#banknotes #RoyalMint #bankofengland #money

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Sorry, what did you say?
#socialmedia #doomscrolling

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Like his "principles"?
#Starmer #Labour

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Parasites? Do they mean shareholders?
#Ofwat #southwestwater #water @Feargal_Sharkey

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Crucially, from WHICH PART of the corpse, exactly?
#otzi #sourdough #archeology #bread

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In Nottingham NHS stands for Nasty Horrible Staff, then
#NHS #maternity #hospital #FOH

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It's OK as schools here are so bad they can't read them
#immigration #UKhomeoffice #education

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So all that white stuff isn't shit?
#birds #masturbation

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Now we know why our budgie keeps saying "who's a pretty boy then?" into the mirror
#masturbation #birds #wankers

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They come over 'ere, pollinating our flowers...
#hornets #immigration

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To be known as an orangeback
#Trump #MAGA #POTUS

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Now she knows how Scotland feels
#SNP #Sturgeon #Murrell

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New balls please!
#Milan #mosaic #Milano #shoes

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It definitely will be if they put the evidence in the post
#Horizon #postoffice #Vennells #PO #RoyalMail

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Tony Blair def knows about not having a plan for a country. Ask the Iraqis
#Labour #Starmer #Burnham #Streeting #Bliar

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They need an education then. Oh, hang on...
#studentloan #university #education #NUS #DfE

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Pouring trouble on oiled waters
#BP #oil

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Just the usual pilot strikes, air-traffic control works-to rule, four-hour queues, lost luggage, and delayed flights that miss connections then
#EasyJet #RyanAir #BA #Heathrow #Gatwick #Stansted

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Nice if it could just make him human
#Musk #SpaceX #Elon

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He can help Burnham recover when he loses
#GreenPartyUK #Labour #Makerfield