Michelle

Mah cat. Mah dog. Video Games. Anime. Anger Issues.

[Michelle @The_Chibs]

I literally got back on Twitter after a year just so I can see which one of ya'll is saying something stupid right now -_-

[Michelle @The_Chibs]

Anyone else have food pants? Like I need to know if we’re doing all you can eat/buffet style, just getting snacks, or bottomless chips and tacos before I get dressed so I know which pants to wear. #foodpants

[Michelle @The_Chibs]

I refuse to date people who don’t re-rack their weight has or break the bar down to a reasonable load when they’re done #brodating

[Michelle @The_Chibs]

I need y’all to stop panicking because you’re in your late 20’s/30’s and still single. Y’all keep grasping at straws and you’re gonna end up with a straw like the Capri Sun kind... Where they’re really just there to stab something. #itsokaytobesingle

[Michelle @The_Chibs]

I feel like girls who go to nice bars and order margaritas also don’t swallow. #bartenderobservations

[Michelle @The_Chibs]

There’s this little ole wine drunk couple at my bar smooching and I think his hand is trying to rub up on her thigh all sexy like and ya know what... Imma let it fly. I want to be old and frisky one day. #keepthelovealive

[Michelle @The_Chibs]

And then you slaaaay! Get it?! SLAY.... ‘Cause.... Dragon.... K, I’m done. #pokemon

[Michelle @The_Chibs]

Health is not just the absence of disease. #healthandwellbeing

[Michelle @The_Chibs]

Mmmm yessssssss! Clap for the Clam!

[Michelle @The_Chibs]

If you wave at me from the bar to get a drink, you bet your sweet ass I’m gonna smile my face off, wave back, then skip off to help someone who knows how to ask for a faking drink. #bartenderrants

[Michelle @The_Chibs]

My parents want to know why I have low self esteem all the while telling me how much of my butt I’ve lost every time I go home to visit. #areyoueatingenoughsweetie

[Michelle @The_Chibs]

@timmyhendrix Fuck is equivalent to another article (a,an, and the) in the English language for me

[Michelle @The_Chibs]

@PaulLouviere I thought this was how you tweeter. I’m really just alone here and it shows.

[Michelle @The_Chibs]

Ya know how when you’re a kid you keep thinking that certain things are flowers when they’re really weeds.... Being an adult is a lot like that except with people.

[Michelle @The_Chibs]

@_CaRtOoNz @NoahJ456 Coffee in multiple forms

[Michelle @The_Chibs]

I relate to fried cheese because I too am always feeling trapped

[Michelle @The_Chibs]

I’m constantly amazed by animals in the world, except my cat. She just keeps pooping on the floor right after I clean her litter box 😒 #catproblems

[Michelle @The_Chibs]

I want to love a man the way I love cream cheese

[Michelle @The_Chibs]

I told my coworkers I finally got a Twitter and Its like they had that feeling where your mom tells you she finally got a Facebook. #dirtythirtyandpleasehelpmeimdyingontheinside