The Eternal Test

My life as a Cricinfo text commentary feed.

Clubs: @spouthousecc @nawton_grangecc
Scorer: @tommygarb

ENG 37-0 (9.0)

[The Eternal Test @The_EternalTest]

Follow #TheEternalTest and you'll definitely survive longer than yours truly...

[Stephan Shemilt @stephanshemilt]

Since 2006, Italy's cricketers have won as many World Cup matches as Italy's footballers.

[The Eternal Test @The_EternalTest]

@bbctms Rest up well, skipper ❤️

[The Eternal Test @The_EternalTest]

8.6 Starc to Crawley, 1 run. Nervously tucked around the corner to get off strike.

I haven’t overthought this at all. Stupid wires.

End of Over 9: England 37-0 (Crawley 10, Duckett 20). Starc 5-1-15-0.

[The Eternal Test @The_EternalTest]

8.1 Starc to Duckett, DROPPED! Duckett offers a fairly simple chance to Smith at second slip but he spills it! Looks like he lost his footing diving to his right.

I lost my footing yesterday tripping over some wires. I hate wires. Got teenagers. Wires everywhere.

[The Eternal Test @The_EternalTest]

8.5 Starc to Crawley, no run. Direct hit? No, he's home! A mix-up in the middle. Chaos. Throw missed.

…and now the wires are tormenting them and undermining his masculinity, and with every digit pressed of his pin number they beckon him closer to this ultimate head f***.

[The Eternal Test @The_EternalTest]

@GeoffreyBoycott @David215Gower A 'Geoffrey Gower' hybrid would be some player ❤️

[Yuvraj Singh @YUVSTRONG12]

Huge respect to Nepal🇳🇵Took on one of the best teams in the world, stayed in the fight till the very last ball and showed what belief and heart can do! 🫡 This is how teams grow and this is how champions rise 👏🏻 The cricketing world is watching!

#ENGvsNEP #ICCT20WORLDCUP

@CricketNep

[The Eternal Test @The_EternalTest]

I'm 45 and can barely manage 8 off 175 balls #Suryavanshi #U19WorldCup2026 #Cricket26

[Test Match Special @bbctms]

Vaibhav Suryavanshi is 14 years old and has just done this in the Under-19 World Cup final against England 🤯

[The Eternal Test @The_EternalTest]

7.6 Hazlewood to Crawley, no run. Solid block.

Rich from Hull has texted in - ‘Looks like THE KESTREL may have shat himself’.

Aaah, just looking at the pictures now. Not great. No solids there...

End of Over 8: England 30-0 (Crawley 9, Duckett 19). Hazlewood 4-0-16-0.

[The Eternal Test @The_EternalTest]

7.2 Hazlewood to Duckett, no run. Tighter line, forcing Duckett to play.

Why has she shat herself now? What chain, what series, what succession of past events has ultimately led to this putrid slurry absorbing into my carpet?

I’ll tell you. She had cheese half an hour ago.

[The Eternal Test @The_EternalTest]

7.5 Hazlewood to Crawley, no run. The replacement ball seems to be swinging more. Beaten outside off.

Who has taught them this learned behaviour since she was a puppy?

Not me.

That turd in my living room is three years in the making.

I won’t apologise for it. #sorrynotsorry

[The Eternal Test @The_EternalTest]

7.1 Hazlewood to Duckett, FOUR. Batting on a Road. The pitch has flattened out beautifully. Duckett is scoring freely now. Punched through mid-off.

So…the dog incident.

I fed her normally this morning. We went for a walk. Business outside as usual. Done my bit.

[The Eternal Test @The_EternalTest]

@TheCricketerMag New laws applied to village cricket...

https://t.co/qzWiLXHs9c

[The Eternal Test @The_EternalTest]

NEW LAW CHANGES - A THREAD
(and their village equivalent)

@MCCOfficial
@englandcricket
@Cricket_Ali
@TheBarmyArmy
@StickToCricket
@villagemoments
@crickshouts
@BumbleCricket
@WisdenCricket

#villagecricket #cricket

[The Eternal Test @The_EternalTest]

@IS_Netwrk29 New laws applied to village cricket...

https://t.co/qzWiLXHs9c

[The Eternal Test @The_EternalTest]

NEW LAW CHANGES - A THREAD
(and their village equivalent)

@MCCOfficial
@englandcricket
@Cricket_Ali
@TheBarmyArmy
@StickToCricket
@villagemoments
@crickshouts
@BumbleCricket
@WisdenCricket

#villagecricket #cricket