Marigny deMauriac

New to Twitter. Not a robot. Or, I don’t think I am? Who am I kidding? It’s 2022. I’m just biding my time until AI MARIGNY takes over. #everythingsfine

[Marigny deMauriac @The_Marigny]

@AGJeffLandry is a danger to women and a danger to the entire state of Louisiana. Birthing people deserve agency, privacy, and access to a full range of prenatal and postnatal health care services to be decided upon WITH THEIR DOCTORS, not with you, JEFF. https://t.co/IdL8kfeMgA

[Marigny deMauriac @The_Marigny]

Who are these people who do spin class for fun? I just did 20 minutes out of shear necessity because the treadmills were taken and I swear it’s Dante’s 10th circle of hell.

It’s like limbo, lust, gluttony, greed, anger, heresy, violence, fraud, treachery…and spin class.

[Marigny deMauriac @The_Marigny]

For those keeping track at home: the exchange rate right now for Russian currency is 120 rubles to 1 Mardi Gras doubloon. And, not even the best doubloon that used to get you free @Popeyes

[Marigny deMauriac @The_Marigny]

Hi, my name is Marigny. And when I get anxious I obsess over home repairs and random household chores. I just spent the last three hours painting my kitchen ceiling white. Again. It was already white. I am the Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor of neuroses…

[Marigny deMauriac @The_Marigny]

Watching @BachelorABC HOLD UP. The other women are genuinely excited & CHEER for the one who gets selected to go on a one on one date? …I feel like the camera would pan to me whittling my toothbrush into a shank in the corner.

[Marigny deMauriac @The_Marigny]

For the first time ever, someone asked me where “the dip station” was at the gym. I thought he was talking about a party platter. So, I’m PRETTY much a fitness model now. #goingpro

[Marigny deMauriac @The_Marigny]

@willsmith I was all in on Bel-Air until the crawfish boil scene when y’all were serving each person 3 crawfish from a metal mixing bowl. I don’t know how they do boils in Bel-Air, but y’all need to start fact checking with New Orleans. 😂 Those people look HUNGRY.

[Marigny deMauriac @The_Marigny]

You KNOW crime is bad in New Orleans, when Florida Man comes to visit and we got him, too. Damn, Florida Man…. https://t.co/S0l1iVJCG0

[Marigny deMauriac @The_Marigny]

If you can drink hot coffee WHILE doing your cardio on the elliptical, either you’re not trying hard enough or you’re a witch…I’m hoping for witch.

[Marigny deMauriac @The_Marigny]

My bf just aggressively @Lysol -ed the entire upstairs of our gym…While people were in it. No, he doesn’t work here. 😂 They say cleanliness is next to Godliness. He’s trying to get AS CLOSE AS POSSIBLE. 😂

[Marigny deMauriac @The_Marigny]

Who among us drinks sleepy time tea mid day with no intent of sleeping whatsoever, thinking it’ll calm anxiety? …Just me?

[Marigny deMauriac @The_Marigny]

Right now there’s a news correspondent set up in the parking lot of my gym. Nothing is happening…It’s just cold outside. So, he’s reporting live from the cold parking lot before dawn. Aaand back to you in the warm studio, @katiecouric #LouisianaWinter

[Marigny deMauriac @The_Marigny]

How are you gonna tell me my estimated wait time on hold is 19.5 minutes…THEN, 20 minutes later, tell me my estimated wait time on hold is 19.5 minutes? When the price of a good or service stays the same, but the quality has gone down: #shadowinflation

[Marigny deMauriac @The_Marigny]

…And couples everywhere are breaking up on the off-chance that either one comes to town. BF & I just looked across the couch at each other & said aloud, simultaneously: “well, I guess this is the end of the road for us.” https://t.co/qjdQFA26Bh

[Marigny deMauriac @The_Marigny]

When an auntie contributes to the family group text…and I feel I’ve been sending the proper messaging to my relatives all these years. 🙌 ✅

[Marigny deMauriac @The_Marigny]

If you’re coughing and you’re still going to the gym…and on top of that, you’re not masking: Bless your heart…but in my southern, subtle, cussing you out tone of voice.

[Marigny deMauriac @The_Marigny]

I’m the white lady in an interracial relationship. My new favorite pastime is showing my partner photos of “food” my white family members were SUPER proud of cooking. Then, he tries to guess what they were ACTUALLY going for. 10/10 would recommend this trivia on game night. Ex:

[Marigny deMauriac @The_Marigny]

Happy 12th night. Y’all may now indulge in king cake without bringing shame to your families until Ash Wednesday. Gluttony commence!

[Marigny deMauriac @The_Marigny]

People in New Orleans counting down till 12th night so we can eat king cake & give up on New Year resolutions 6 days into 2022.

[Marigny deMauriac @The_Marigny]

If anyone needs me, I’ll be counting the days until you “new year, new me” people stop showing up & the treadmills are free again. It’s south Louisiana: New Year’s resolutions don’t start until Ash Wednesday. Who ARE YOU, monsters & why are you crowding my machines? #burningsage