Mitch McConnell’s Catheter

Always Taking The Piss

[Mitch McConnell’s Catheter @Thebarstooltoo]

#HowIFoundTheGSpot
I listened to Dre and Snoop and finally realized the MuthaFuckin G Spot is The City of Compton!

[Vivian @exoticvivi]

When you leave things for tomorrow and tomorrow arrives

[Ravioli Raymond @liquidsuitcase]

When my wife finds out I spent $64 on half priced beers on a Tuesday night

[Orry Lee Kennedy @cornbreadcowboi]

Lady from x files Smokehshow lowkey my type

[Bazooka Joe ™️ @bazookajoeOG]

If you see a toilet in your dream DO NOT use that mf

[Mitch McConnell’s Catheter @Thebarstooltoo]

@MoMohler Best Lip Lizard I’ve ever seen on a 2 yr old. Jus now learnin my 3 yr old is a pussy. I blame his Momma.

[Girth Brooks @crackawdajuice]

Farted so hard my check engine light turned on

[Nicholas J. Stelzner @stelzner_n1150]

99% of politicians don’t give one single fuck about you. Remember that.

[☔ @Whotfismick]

me going back to sleep because there’s 47 seconds left until my alarm goes off

[Kris @KrisAbdelmessih]

Nobody tell these 13 year olds this is as good as it gets

[Nicky💕 @jas_d_barbie]

my toxic trait: I’ll wake up on time, but lay in bed until i’m late.

[Declaration of Memes @LibertyCappy]

They're so good aren't they?

🤣

[Jen @SweetTexanRose]

Am I the only dork who’s excited Shark Week starts tomorrow? 🦈

[30MinuteMinistries ✞ @30MinMinistries]

They Boiled John in oil.

Stoned Philip to death.

They skinned Matthew alive.

Crucified Peter upside down.

Hung Luke from an olive tree.

Beheaded James with a sword.

None of the apostles died for a lie, They died because they saw the risen Christ.

[hersch @tittyrespecter]

is there a way to permanently be under the effects of 2 beers and 3 cigarettes?

[Rach A @RachAvvqg]

Why are the washing machine minutes not real minutes. 🤔

[Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred]

Started reading Frankenstein and I hate it. When does he meet Scooby-Doo

[✰. @swagoszn_]

Made it to Saturday but at what cost???Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

[Amber H @ThatCheerMomOfX]

In my 20’s I could mix tequila, vodka and whisky all at once.

Now I have to be careful which coffee creamer I put in my coffee or else I shit my pants.

Being an adult is stupid

[Mojo @B4D_M0J0]

I survived fishing in south Louisiana for 8 hours in the August heat drinking nothing but a case of Miller Lites with a belly full of 20,000 calories of cajun food. Whatever this lettuce parasite brings is laughable to my immune system.