モイーン

[Hazel Kaizoku @meister_kwame]

“Argentina super team” but if your club bids for Molina or Montiel you’ll start convulsing

[Psyberdelic @Psyberdelic_]

I shoved a piece of crayon up my nose as a kid and had to go to the hospital to get it removed. A nurse tried giving me a coloring book and crayons for being a good boy and my dad said "don't give that retard anymore crayons"

[Tim @x0neee]

So hat es damals auch angefangen

[Aspersion Caster @AspersionCaster]

Just 160 years ago 100% of them had masters. Look how far they've fallen.

[$𝔩𝔞𝔭☃️ @slvppy]

“Dad, who was Lionel Messi??”

[𝙆𝙖𝙮™️🇪🇸 @KayLFC05_]

Earth has existed for 8 billion years and I was born in Lionel Messi’s Era https://t.co/4RU9KgTvOP

[OGi 🐐 @BCNOgi]

FIVE GOLAZOS ON YOUR HEADTOP PUSSY FIGHT BACK @Cristiano

[Myles 🇯🇲🇧🇧 @myles_premium_]

We slapped that Coutinho money on bitcoin

[TJ @EliteFourDan]

Tell her Messi still doin it

[Luke @LukeWhosTalking]

Him being arrested

[ً @salahive]

try 2 days without salah and robbo

[LaughBreak: Dad Jokes ‘N More @MediocreJoker85]

The year is 2028, and the United States has just elected the first woman from Alabama as president.

A few days after the election, the president-elect calls her father and says, “So, Daddy, I assume you’ll be coming to my inauguration?”

“I don’t think so,” he replies. “It’s a 16-hour drive, your mother isn’t as young as she used to be, and my arthritis is acting up again.”

“Don’t worry, Daddy,” she says. “I’ll send Air Force One to pick you up. A limousine will take you from your door.”

“I don’t know,” he says. “Everyone will be so fancy. What would your mother wear?”

“Oh, Daddy,” she replies, “I’ll make sure she has a beautiful gown, custom made by the best designer in Washington.”

“Sweetheart,” he continues, “you know I can’t eat those rich foods you and your friends like.”

“Don’t worry,” she says. “The entire affair will be handled by the best caterer in Washington. I’ll make sure your meals are salt-free. I really want you to come.”

So the father reluctantly agrees.

On January 20th, 2029, the first woman from Alabama is sworn in as President of the United States. In the front row sit her mother and father.

The father leans over to the Supreme Court Justice next to him and whispers, “You see that woman up there, hand on the Bible, becoming President of the United States?”

“Yes,” the Justice replies.

The father says proudly, “Her brother played football for the University of Alabama.”

[“Is this a love island joke??” @aseisheated]

That’s a suspicious number of Kit Kats!

[JoëlMatipFanClub @jmatipfanclub]

Oliver Glasner is in the top 2 worst people to ever come out of Austria and he’s not 2nd

[F1 TROLL @f1trollofficial]

What everyone expected Yuki to do

[Jacob @LFCJacobb]

Course he does. He’s taking his 20% cut from rockstar like he does with every heist the twat