Sam Knox

Stand-Up Comedian. Star of The Just Saying Words, The Please Find God, & Blite Podcasts. Be thankful, but never be content.

[Killa 🌺 @KillaKreww]

Bill Burr couldn’t stop making fun of Shaq after he explained why he’s convinced the Earth is flat, saying that when he’s on a plane, the plane never goes down 🤣🌎💀

[Kingmaker @MindHealthMaker]

Good people have high levels of empathy, but once that empathy is exhausted, they switch to a state of objective observation. They see you for exactly who you are, without the filter of their love. This is why their anger feels so cold, it is the absence of the warmth you took for granted

[cinesthetic. @TheCinesthetic]

“With cigarettes, my wife and I made a deal: we only smoke after sex. I’ve had the same pack since 1975. What worries me is my wife… she’s up to three packs a day.”

The late, great Rodney Dangerfield on The Tonight Show.

[Sam Knox @TheeSamKnox]

Loser mentality.

[Polymarket Sports @PolymarketSport]

🚨JUST IN: Tim Howard on USA's chances of winning the World Cup:

"The U.S. will need to play the greatest game they've ever played three times in a row. Sorry, four games in a row! ...

It is literally impossible for the U.S. to win the World Cup."

[Sam Knox @TheeSamKnox]

NASTYYYYYY

[The OWL Times @scaryhours5555]

Janice STFU mash 😮

[Secular Talk ([email protected]) @KyleKulinski]

Those mossad tapes must be diabolical

[Sam Knox @TheeSamKnox]

All of this works.

[No filter Skin @NoFilterSkin]

HABITS I STOLE FROM ADHD ADULTS WHO ACTUALLY HAVE THEIR LIFE TOGETHER.

1. They use calendars for everything. They don't trust their memory with important dates, appointments, or deadlines.

[arvo färt @arvofart]

I love The Departed. I’ve seen it like fifty times. It’s compulsively watchable. Having said that: please be serious lmao

[History With Jacob @HistoryWJacob]

In 1884, Ulysses S. Grant was dying of throat cancer and was dead broke.

His money was wiped out by a swindler who stole his fortune.

Desperate to leave something for his wife, he agreed to write his Civil War memoirs and was close to signing a contract for a meager 10% royalty.

Mark Twain stepped in, called the deal robbery and offered Grant 70% of the profits through his own publishing company.

Grant raced death to finish the book, completing it just days before he died in July 1885.

It became one of the greatest memoirs ever written.

The royalties left his widow nearly half a million dollars, about $16 million today, and the book has never gone out of print.

[Ronny🇳🇿 @ronnyakl]

Nah, Zlatan is actually right here. What he meant in the end was that he’d put himself in a position to help score the third goal. We all know Haaland is a box merchant, and that’s enough, tbh he’s nowhere near him in the overall game

Just look at the quality of the goals here

[Central @WestHam_Central]

Totally normally and human thing to want to do

Explained perfectly by this coach here

[🅱️askerville @WB_Baskerville]

One of the funniest things about the World Cup/Olympics/whatever is how Australia truly believes they have like a massive bitter sports rivalry with the United States and Americans have zero awareness of this

[BIG OWL 🦉 @ovoeduardooo]

Drake you have no other choice but to officially drop this… rest easy @taykeith

[Sam Knox @TheeSamKnox]

This is staggeringly stupid lol

[KΞRL_✂️ @KRL_defi_]

Joe Haden says most people have no idea how quickly an NFL contract disappears once taxes and family expenses hit.

“I signed a five-year, $50 million contract.”

“I had about $26.6 million guaranteed.”

“My first year, I got a $12 million signing bonus.”

“After taxes, I only touched around $7 million.”

“The first thing I did was give my parents $3 million.”

“Then I bought them a $1 million house.”

“So right away, about $5 million was gone.”

“I bought my brothers cars.”

“I bought myself a penthouse.”

“I got a Range Rover Sport and a Bentley GT.”

“People hear $50 million and think you’ve got $50 million sitting in the bank.”

“That’s not how it works.”

“You look up after all that and realize you might only have around $1 million left.”

“You start understanding real quick that a $50 million contract is not actually $50 million.”

“That’s why so many guys go broke.”

[Sam Knox @TheeSamKnox]

Piece of shit government over there.

[איתמר בן גביר @itamarbengvir]

על כל דמעה של אמא ישראלית, אלף אמהות לבנוניות צריכות לבכות. לבנון כולה צריכה לבעור!

עם כל הכבוד לאמריקאים, ישראל חייבת להבהיר לעולם כולו שדם בנינו וביטחון אזרחנו איננו הפקר. לבנון כולה צריכה לבעור. חובתנו העליונה היא להגן על אזרחי ישראל ועל חיילי צה״ל, והמחויבות הזו קודמת לכל שיקול אחר.

אמרתי לראש הממשלה, גם בישיבות בינינו: על כל דמעה של אמא ישראלית, אלף אימהות לבנוניות צריכות לבכות.

מספיק עם הפינג־פונג. במזרח התיכון לא מנצחים בתגובות מדודות ובהכלה - צריך להשתגע. למחוק. להכריע את הטרור.

[Tyler DeLuca @TylerDeLuca]

Genuinely the best thing that can happen to American soccer culture is to lean in to what makes us unique with our college football culture opposed to doing our version of European soccer culture

College gameday style atmospheres is a great start

[chance @chanceposts]

It’s important to criticize your country but still cheer for them in all sporting events

[𝙋𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙡 𝙍𝙞𝙘𝙠 @PistolRick]

KNOCK KNOCK

[Josh Chavis @JoshChavis65]

This guy is doing more for America than any foreigner since maybe Marquis de Lafayette.

[Sam Knox @TheeSamKnox]

Nasty, nasty people killing a beautiful religion. Sickens me.

[Tucker Carlson @TuckerCarlson]

Many celebrity pastors are exploiting the Christian faith and the nonprofit system to line their own pockets. It’s unbelievable. Watch The Religion Business on TCN.