Breaking 🚨;
☠️ A hacker group announced at 3:00 AM: "We have locked all Starlink ground stations worldwide. Pay $500 million in Bitcoin, or the world goes offline!"
🚀 Elon Musk replied at 3:01 AM: "Check your firmware. While you were writing that ransom note, Neural-Auto-Patch released a micro-update that routed your entire operation through a dead-end satellite in deep orbit. Thanks for testing our hotfix."