Ever brought forward a concern or disclosure only to be met with statements like:
- Talking about this to others is gossip
- Bringing this up is causing division
- You need to search your own heart first
- That's just your trauma talking
- Forgive and forget
- No one is perfect / We all make mistakes
- Suffering produces holiness
- Don't be driven by fear
- Love covers a multitude of sins
Author and GRACE Executive Editor Wade Mullen defines these reality-bending phrases as those that "make what is dangerous appear holy, what is protective appear sinful, and what is abusive appear loving. These phrases do not simply end thought, but reshape the playing field and the rules of engagement in which dialogue occurs."
If you've ever experienced the use of one of these phrases, we encourage you to check out Wade's full article on "The Wheel of Reality Bending Phrases" over on his personal substack at https://t.co/ss0iEjlYTw
#Spiritualabuse #spiritualharm #GRACE #churchharm #wademullen
The day the BFM2000 was revised:
"We would never presume to tell another church whom they may call as a pastor..." --Al Mohler
"We don’t have the right, the authority or the power to limit anybody... It is a statement of what most of us believe." -- Adrian Rogers
FREE GRACE Live Conversation
Protecting Children from Online Exploitation
Guests: Dr. Rebecca Portnoff & Detective Tony Godwin
Tuesday, May 26 | 1:00 PM – 2:00 PM ET
Faith communities must understand the modern landscape of Child Sexual Abuse Material (CSAM)—including how it is produced, how it spreads, and the emerging role of Artificial Intelligence. Join us on May 26th for an important discussion on protecting children against these online concerns.
Register today - https://t.co/ZrGadhnZld
One of the most painful experiences of speaking truth to abusive power is watching the discussion slowly shift away from the harm itself and toward your motives, tone, credibility, and loyalty.
Eventually, the landscape is turned upside down and the truth-teller becomes the problem.
My latest article: https://t.co/lxRMgbf9Ue
Phrases like, "Everything happens for a reason" or "I'm grateful for X, Y, or Z harm" are often used as a means of meaning-making or answering WHY something bad happened to you, someone you love, or your community. But trauma is not a gift. Injustice and harm are not forces of good in the world.
In Romans 8:28, the Apostle Paul says that "God works all things for the good of those who love him." Did you catch the distinction? God works all things FOR good—but not all things ARE good.
The gift, the grace, the good is in the way that we grow post-trauma, that our bodies adapt and survive, that our community comes around and supports, that our God understands and holds compassion. The gift is never, ever the harm.
To listen to the entire conversation with Laura Thien and Aundi Kolber visit GRACE's YouTube Channel at: https://t.co/bphOFlfLD7
#GRACE #GRACELiveConversations #MeaningMaking #TraumaAndHealing #AbuseAwareness
When the places you’re supposed to feel the most safe and connected become sources of harm, it often isn't just a "bad experience"—it’s deep relational trauma.
Catch the full GRACE Live Conversation with Aundi Kolber on "Healing with Gentleness" over on our YouTube channel.
#SpiritualTrauma #GRACE #MentalHealthMatters #HealingJourney #FaithCommunity @aundikolber
"Pressler... 'promised to deliver evangelical voters' ... I am one of those voters that was delivered... I thought the politics were flowing from the theology... But now I see that too often the theology was being exploited for political gain." - @KSPrior
If you are gifted to bear the burdens of others, then it is God’s work you have been gifted to do. We think it is our work, and then we ask Him to help us with our work. That is backwards. It is His work; the people are His people. You are doing God’s work for Him.
It is not an attack on your faith for someone to point out that there are people manipulating your faith to rape children - unless, that is, you have been conditioned for decades to believe that anyone who is not of you is inherently an enemy.
And this is the key issue:
In the movies, the devil may wear Prada, but in the Southern Baptist Convention, the devil came cloaked in its so-called Conservative Resurgence. https://t.co/yzJL8futjU
NEW: Paul Pressler is among the most influential figures you may have never heard of. The onetime judge remade the Southern Baptist Convention, and helped forge the marriage between the GOP & white evangelicals — all while allegedly abusing for decades. A long look at his legacy:
When faith communities keep an allegation of abuse quiet, minimize its impact, or try to deal with it internally in an effort to "limit hurt to the congregation," that silence isn't just a missed opportunity—it multiplies harm.
Trust cannot be rebuilt on a foundation of hidden history and we cannot heal what we refuse to name. GRACE Investigations and Consultations help faith communities bring historical or present abuse allegations into the light in a way that fosters hope and healing for the whole congregation.
Learn more at https://t.co/Jzc8cOyfH6
#TraumaAndRecovery #TruthTelling #CorporateLament #FaithAndHealing #GRACE
Search is full of ads and wrong answers. Every other email is an ad. Prime Video charges you and shows ads. Paramount? Ads. Peacock? YouTube? Hulu? Ads followed by more ads. Netflix full of ads. Meta and X, every other thing is an ad. Pinterest is nothing but ads. AI is in everything. AI finishes sentences incorrectly and won’t stop. AI reads your email and search history to target you with more ads. Every time you open an app or visit a site there’s an update making it worse. In a hurry? First, click here to agree to terms you don’t have time to read and must accept. You need an account to do that. Change your temporary password. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email and enter that code. Now use a passkey. Your password is too simple to remember. Change it. No, not like that. Now log on. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email for a code… Welcome back! We’ve updated our terms of service and privacy policy (you have none). Subscribe to the site. Subscribe to Netflix. Subscribe to toilet paper. Subscribe to these groceries. Pay a membership fee for the right to subscribe then tip your driver who delivers the subscriptions your membership lets you subscribe to. Time to work? We’ve got to update your laptop and will slow down everything you do until you agree to update. But first, click here to agree. Update installed — your laptop’s broken now. It doesn’t matter, since your boss just replaced you with AI. Go to your phone to complain on social media. Wait, your phone needs an update so we can add more AI. Click here. Oh sorry, your phone can’t handle this update. Now it’s useless. Go get the newest phone. Here’s a text from a friend, an email, a voice mail they left three days ago but you didn’t see until now because of sync problems with the cloud. It’s their GoFundMe. Their MLM. Their Patreon. Never mind, you didn’t respond to their text within 9 minutes and now you’re no longer friends. They blocked you. Make new friends. Download this app to find people in your area. In your neighborhood. On your street. Two doors down from you. Do you know this person yet, we think you’d get along. You need an account to use this app. That username is taken. Enter a password. Not that one, you used it on another site. You need to be connected to WiFi to download the app. Allow the app to connect to other devices on your network. Allow the app to access your contacts, know your precise location, store your credit card details. Oops, sorry, we got hacked now all that info is available on the web. There’s a class action suit. You can join. It’ll take a decade to get your $3.73 share of the ten billion settlement. We’ll send it via PayPal or deposit it to your bank, just tell us those details. Oh no, another hack. That info is circulating now, too. Here’s a spam call, a spam email, a spam text. Why are you angry? Why are you talking about getting rid of your phone? Why don’t you like AI, it lets us make all of this easier? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? This is progress. You’ll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind? Do you???
Today marks one year since Pete Singer, our beloved friend and former Executive Director, passed away. Since that time, many of you have shared messages with us about the profound impact of Pete’s life, and work, in your lives and communities. We are grateful to be continually reminded of Pete’s advocacy for the vulnerable, and for the hope of trauma-informed faith communities.
There is an old adage that blesses a man who plants trees, under whose shade they will never sit. Needless to say, Pete had a tree-planting habit. He spent his life faithfully and patiently endeavoring toward a future that he knew he would not see realized. His thoughtful, compassionate leadership, selflessness, and earnest, gentle presence has touched countless lives. Child protection professionals and faith leaders around the world have been influenced by his teaching and writing on the spiritual impact of trauma. We trust the seeds Pete planted will come to their fullness, providing protection and shade for generations to come.
We wait with patient hope until we see our friend again, and we trust that one day, God will “swallow up death forever,” and “wipe away tears from all faces" (Isaiah 25:8). Our team will be stepping away today, in remembrance of the joy and hope Pete brought to this work, and to our lives. We ask for your continued prayers for our team, for the Singer family, and all those who have held him dearly.
Laura Thien, Executive Director, on behalf of the GRACE team
As Child Abuse Prevention Month and Sexual Assault Awareness Month draws to a close, we are reminded that awareness does not stop with a change in the calendar. For survivors, the journey toward healing and safety continues, and for the Christian community, our work to create safe, compassionate, accountable communities of faith continues. Each of us has an important role in this mission.
When we empower leaders and survivors to speak truth, implement real safeguarding, and choose institutional courage, we see God’s heart on display and his redemptive work in action. This is the work of GRACE.
By supporting GRACE, you invest in the safety and accountability of the church and the restoration of those who have been harmed. Will you join us?
Visit https://t.co/6ctT4T3lA5 to make a donation.
Support GRACE throughout the year, divide your gift by 12 and set up a recurring monthly donation today!
Thank you!