Thieves of DC

Chief Meme Officer | Just a vector in a neural net | On the right side of history | Achievement unlocked | Life doesn't have a Ctrl-Z (undo) button | XY ≠ XX

[Thieves of DC @ThievesOfDC]

In this episode of the IT Curry Crowd, Maurice has been replaced by Sandeep and Roy is tasked to train him. While perusing executive email as he does in his leisure, Roy discovers a plot to have him replaced as well. Roy convinces Sandeep to rewire his computer to meet new climate change regulations, and a small fire ensues.

[SkinnyBikerDude 🇺🇸 @BikerSkinny]

@gmf1369

[Selene Mariposa @Selene_Mariposa]

America turns 250 today.

Let me read back the resume.

We started by telling a king to pound sand, in writing.

By 1803 we bought half a continent from France for about four cents an acre.

We fought a war with ourselves and somehow stayed one country.

We strung a railroad across the entire thing.

We handed the world the lightbulb, the telephone, and the airplane in about thirty years flat.

Then a man named Willis Carrier invented air conditioning and made half the planet actually livable.

You are welcome, Texas. You are welcome, Dubai.

Twice the whole world caught fire, and twice we showed up and helped put it out.

We split the atom.

We put men on the moon in 1969.

Then we went back and hit golf balls up there, because why not.

We invented jazz, blues, rock and roll, and hip-hop, and the whole planet is still dancing to it.

We put a burger and fries on every corner of the earth.

We built rockets that fly themselves home and land standing straight up.

We flew a helicopter on Mars.

We launched a car into actual space and it is still out there cruising.

We also invented ranch dressing and somehow talked the entire world into putting it on pizza.

Priorities.

We even invented three of our own sports so we could win them.

Baseball, basketball, and football.

Real football, the kind with hands, because we named it and we are not taking corrections.

The rest of the planet can keep soccer, which is fine, we are hosting it in our backyard this summer anyway.

And yes, Canadian football exists, wider field, extra man, one fewer down, and we try very hard not to think about it.

Frankly it was generous of us to invent our own games.

If we put all that energy into soccer, nobody else would ever lift that trophy again.

We would win it so often they would just rename it the America’s Cup and hand us the keys.

You are welcome for the suspense.

And in 2026 we threw a birthday so big a German tourist live-tweeted our gas stations to 750,000 people.

Not every chapter was clean.

We argued, we stumbled, we fixed what we broke, and we kept building.

That is the whole trick.

Two hundred and fifty years in, and we are still the loudest, brightest, most improbable experiment on the map.

Not bad for a country that started as a strongly worded letter to a king.

Happy birthday, America.

🦋

[Thieves of DC @ThievesOfDC]

When you're a liberal and can't bring yourself to like a post celebrating July 4th, you can shove a firework where the sun doesn't shine you commie.

[Kristina Wong 🇺🇸 @Kristinawong]

When you like a post that mentions America 250, the like button turns into a little 250 firework!

[Denise 🇺🇸 @NoDMsPerfavore]

I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against another mosque being built. I think it should be the goal of everyone living in a town to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs. Thus the mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.

STAY WITH ME…

That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque; thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque.

HEAR ME OUT…

We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, "The Turban Cowboy," and the other, a topless bar, would be called
"You Mecca Me Hot."

Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called " Iraq of Ribs."

Across the street there could be a lingerie store called "Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret," with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods", and on the other side a liquor store called
"Morehammered."

All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us."

Yes we should promote tolerance, and you can do your part by passing this on. And if you are not laughing or smiling at this point.... It is either past your bedtime, or it's midnight at the oasis and time to put your camel to bed. 🤣

[Thieves of DC @ThievesOfDC]

"AI is just the newest magic word you use to extract money from terrified executives."

💯

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

The board called an emergency meeting to discuss our enterprise AI strategy.

Every executive in the room was panicking about falling behind the innovation curve.

They asked me how quickly we could deploy our own LLM.

I told them I'd already initiated a proprietary machine learning protocol last night.

They were absolutely stunned by my agility.

The CEO asked for a demonstration of our new AI capabilities.

I opened my laptop and showed them a spreadsheet that automatically sorts customer emails by date.

It's a basic Excel macro I wrote 12 years ago.

I just renamed the file to Neural_Network_Node_01.

I told them the system uses predictive chronological sequencing to optimize our communication funnel.

I said it operates on a closed-loop algorithmic framework to ensure data privacy.

The VP of Sales literally started clapping.

He said this was exactly the kind of disruptive thinking we needed.

They authorized a $50K bonus for me for taking initiative.

I nodded humbly and promised to keep pushing the boundaries of our tech stack.

I'm taking the $50K and buying a vintage pinball machine for my basement.

AI isn't the future of technology.

AI is just the newest magic word you use to extract money from terrified executives.

I'm going to spend the rest of the day watching YouTube tutorials on how to refurbish pinball flippers.

[Thieves of DC @ThievesOfDC]

🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

May 28, 2026. Modesto, California.

Three people are stabbed to death in a single home.

A 54-year-old grandmother.
A 23-year-old mother.
A two-week-old baby boy.

Two weeks old. Read that again.

A baby who had not yet learned to focus his eyes.

Three generations. One knife. One afternoon.

The man arrested for it had been deported once before.

He came back. Illegally.

In June 2025, he was arrested for his FOURTH DUI.

ICE asked the county jail to hold him.

The county refused. State law forbids cooperation with ICE.

He walked out.

Eleven months later, a grandmother, a mother, and a two-week-old infant were dead on the floor of their own home.

They had him.

They had him on a fourth drunk-driving arrest.

They let him go because the state had decided, on principle, not to ask.

A two-week-old child paid for that principle with his entire life.

He should be alive.
His mother should be alive.
His grandmother should be alive.

God bless every American who refuses to call this normal.

[Philip Greenspun @PhilipGreenspun]

Birthright citizenship tale... Our social circle in Maskachusetts included a guy married to a Honduran. Every time one of his wife's relatives is pregnant she comes to stay with them. When it is time to deliver the baby, the relative Ubers to one of the most expensive hospitals in the world, e.g., Beth Israel. She gives birth, says the magic words to avoid ever receiving a bill ("I'm undocumented"), and, after a few weeks, heads back to Honduras with baby, birth certificate, and U.S. passport. This one family has likely cost taxpayers at least $300,000 in payments to the hospital for "uncompensated care" and more than 10 U.S. citizens have been minted. When the kids are adults they have an automatic right to sponsor their parents for green cards, so eventually this one family will be responsible for perhaps 40 or 50 legal immigrants from Honduras to the U.S.

[Z @insatiablevine]

Today I’ll work a 9-hour day to pay for illegals to have free housing and healthcare. Most of my paycheck will go to taxes , my inflated mortgage and my insanely high health insurance costs—my taxes will fund fraud, global communism, and illegal border hoppers. I’ll put away a measly amount so my children can hope to one day afford college, while the illegals who just showed up here will go for free. My American children will be paying loans well into their 30s while they compete with debt-free foreign invaders for a low-paying job outside their degree.

This is the new American dream brought to us by criminal politicians and corrupt judges. 🇺🇸 🆘

[Mike Neanderthal MCNationalist @Cointuckeywind1]

An illegal alien is living in the starter home your kid can't afford

[Stacy is Right @PoliticalStacy]

It’s illegal to bring a foreign plant into the country because it might upset the ecosystem… but importing millions of people from the Third World apparently makes total fucking sense?

Get the fuck out of here.

[Erik-Unchained @ErikUnchained]

@Real_Ames @Happy2BMom1

[Mrs B @attackdogX]

Just take one group, for example: The brain dead bubble heads in Minnesota alone, they were on temporary status for over 30 years.

Almost 90% of them are on welfare. That means, for more than 30 years, Americans have fed them, housed them & paid for their healthcare.

But wait, there’s more, it wasn’t enough for us to do all of that for them, oh no, they then had to steal from us to boot.

All of our bills have only increased as we support free loading scammers who are nothing but a net negative to us culturally & financially.

But, wait, there’s more, take all of the above & compound that with the fact that Democrat politicians cater to them for votes, the Minneapolis mayor literally learned to speak their ooga booga language to further pander to them because they have now grown & bred like wild animals to the point their votes actually carry weight, their votes actually determine entire elections, further diluting our votes.

Words cannot describe how MFing DONE Americans are.

You have ignited a rage in us you cannot extinguish & when we say DEPORT EVERY SINGLE ONE-

We damn well mean it!

So, save all your SOB STORIES on how deportations are “ruining lives”.

YOU HAVE RUINED OURS, OUR CHILDREN, & our future grandchildren’s lives with your globalist wet dream at our expense.

A huge percentage of our debt is FRAUD. A ton of that fraud is a direct result of migrant invaders.

We are passing down generational debt to our lineage that they do not deserve.

DONE is an understatement…

[Sean Davis @seanmdav]

Really not looking forward to the incoherent John Roberts opinion that declares America fought the Civil War so communist Chinese spies could airdrop birth tourism babies onto our soil and magically become eligible to run for president.

[Garbage Human @GarbageHuman24]

And people will still look at you with a straight face and tell you that guns are the problem

[sdm @lordsambrah]

@jmaza86

[Mike Bales 🫡🇺🇸 @MikeBales]

LMAO 🤣🎯

[Mr. Pool @MrPool_QQ]

🔻HE LIED UNDER OATH. THE DOCUMENTS NOW PROVE IT. AND THE ARREST WARRANT IS ALREADY DRAFTED.

Yesterday — **June 18, 2026** — Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard walked into her office for the LAST TIME. She had 14 hours left. She used every single one of them.

At **4:47 PM Eastern**, the ODNI published what they internally call **"The Fauci File."** Declassified. Unredacted. Permanent.

Here is what it contains.

Anthony Fauci directed **$47 million** in US taxpayer funding to gain-of-function bat coronavirus research at the **Wuhan Institute of Virology.** He knew what they were building. He FUNDED what they were building. And when it leaked — accidentally or otherwise — he positioned himself as America's doctor. The arsonist became the firefighter.

But that is not why the warrant exists.

The documents contain an **August 2021 whistleblower complaint** — filed internally, buried for FIVE YEARS — stating that Fauci provided **"false testimony to Congress related to the conduct of gain-of-function research."** That is not an accusation. That is a federal crime. **18 U.S.C. § 1621. Perjury.** Five years in prison.

The ODNI describes what Fauci built as a **"self-serving circular reporting loop."** He funded the scientists. Those scientists wrote the intelligence assessments. Those assessments were used to tell YOU it was a wet market. A bat. A coincidence. And anyone who questioned it was a conspiracy theorist.

**YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING.**

I knew about this file on **June 3.** Fifteen days before it dropped. I was told three words: **"Gabbard's parting gift."**

This was not a resignation. This was a DETONATION. Gabbard was placed in that chair by Trump for ONE reason — to access what no one else could access, declassify what no one else would declassify, and walk away clean.

She did exactly what she was sent to do.

Now here is what comes next.

The referral has already been sent to the DOJ. **Kash Patel has the file.** A grand jury in the Eastern District of Virginia was empaneled on **June 11** — one week BEFORE the declassification. They were not waiting for the documents to drop. They already HAD them.

Fauci's passport was flagged on **June 14.** He is not leaving this country.

The man who locked you in your home. Who closed your business. Who masked your children. Who told you the science was settled while he FUNDED the virus that killed millions. That man is about to hear a knock on his door.

FAUCI-PERJURY-1621
GABBARD-FINAL-ACT-0618
GRAND-JURY-EDVA-0611

The last domino just fell. The rest is gravity.

⟁

[Thieves of DC @ThievesOfDC]

If NASA had a sense of humor...

[Thieves of DC @ThievesOfDC]

Another tranche of ballots have been found in California favoring Democrats.

[Dustin Straight @Carnage2469]

@mcafeenew @RedLivesMatterQ Holy crap. I hope they do invalidate this election. It is bull shit how they keep cheating

[Sassafrass84 @Sassafrass_84]

The Democrat Party’s real structure:

Antifa = Military Wing
Media = Propaganda Wing
ActBlue = Laundering Wing
SPLC = Targeting Wing
Soros = Funding Wing
Colleges = Indoctrination Wing

This isn’t a political party.

It’s an organized crime syndicate.