KMG

What is done out of love always takes place beyond good and evil - Nietzsche. Also... stay fresh, cheese bags.

[KMG @Third_Eye_Candy]

I listened for 51,769 minutes in 2024. What about you? #SpotifyWrapped https://t.co/IK0r7qkQmU

[KMG @Third_Eye_Candy]

Perfect day.

[KMG @Third_Eye_Candy]

Congrats on escaping the womb, Lis’.

[KMG @Third_Eye_Candy]

Congrats on escaping the womb @khloekardashian

Do you need a conga line of people to slap you?

#ijustwanttomakekhliesmile
#thisshitisfunny
#stuffkelsays

[KMG @Third_Eye_Candy]

Pedestrian: What the hell is that sound? It sounds like two cats fighting…

*pulls out cell phone* Hello?

@khloekardashian

#ijustwanttomakekhloesmile
#stuffkelsays
#thisshitisfunny

[KMG @Third_Eye_Candy]

Can you two just fucking fight using Avril Lavigne songs so I can AT LEAST sing along…

@khloekardashian

#ijustwanttomakekhloesmile
#stuffkelsays
#thisshitisfunny

[KMG @Third_Eye_Candy]

Hipster vegan faints and drowns in his own soup after he realizes he’s eaten a piece of veal with carnage sauce.

@khloekardashian

#inustwanttomakekhloesmile
#stuffkelsays
#thisshitisfunny

[KMG @Third_Eye_Candy]

Her: I have a lot of baggage…
Me: So do I… what brand is yours?

@khloekardashian

#ijustwanttomakekhloesmile
#stuffkelsays
#thisshitiscute

[KMG @Third_Eye_Candy]

I will literally slit my wrists, drink back all the blood, stitch myself back up, and murder all of you. Hell… duct tape will do.

@khloekardashian

#ijustwanttomakekhloesmile
#stuffkelsays
#thisshitisfunny

[KMG @Third_Eye_Candy]

Do me a favor… go slap a shark and see what happens.

@khloekardashian

#ijustwanttomakekhloesmile #stuffkelsays #thisshitisfunny

[KMG @Third_Eye_Candy]

Go outside during this thunderstorm. I dare you to go outside. Wear gold armor.

@khloekardashian

#ijustwanttomakekhloesmile #stuffkelsays #thisshitisfunny

[KMG @Third_Eye_Candy]

It was so tragic that the vegan’s celery parachute didn’t open.

@khloekardashian

#ijustwanttomakekhloesmile #stuffkelsays #thishitisfunny

[KMG @Third_Eye_Candy]

It was so absurd that the entire taxidermy animal store burst out in contagious laughter, the owners laughed themselves to death, then they got stuffed, and the stuffed animals haven’t stopped laughing.
@khloekardashian

#ijustwanttomakekhloesmile #stuffkelsays

[KMG @Third_Eye_Candy]

Ever wonder why when we really laugh, we tilt our heads up towards the sky? It’s so our guardians can see our smiles.
@khloekardashian

#ijustwanttomakekhloesmile #stuffkelsays

[KMG @Third_Eye_Candy]

Air horns… when you want grandma to pass the salt.
@khloekardashian

#ijusttomakekhloesmile #stuffkelsays #laugh #humor #thisshitisfunny

[KMG @Third_Eye_Candy]

Thanks @avrillavigne for spending 2,883 minutes with me in 2022. I couldn’t stop listening to Love It When You Hate Me (feat. blackbear). #SpotifyWrapped https://t.co/YctHw6e41P

[KMG @Third_Eye_Candy]

My heart is a fist drenched in blood. My soul will rise again. #paparoach

[KMG @Third_Eye_Candy]

I’m better off alone anyway #AvrilLavigne #DontTellMe #UnderMySkin

[KMG @Third_Eye_Candy]

“Remember who you are. You are my daughter. The one true KMG.” - Pops.

[KMG @Third_Eye_Candy]

How tragic... A very small violin set itself on fire and started covering "Fuel" by Metallica.