Sarcasm

There's a fine line between being sassy and being an asshole and I cross it everyday.

[Sarcasm @This_Sarcasm_]

me: i have so much work 2 do
me: watches a movie
me: writes a novel
me: backpacks through europe
me: damn i have to sleep now

[Sarcasm @This_Sarcasm_]

how do people just have casual sex with random strangers i can't even order pizza over the phone

[Sarcasm @This_Sarcasm_]

does anyone else suddenly feel insanely insecure when someone incredibly attractive looks you in the eye

[Sarcasm @This_Sarcasm_]

occupation: the family disappointment

[Sarcasm @This_Sarcasm_]

??? ??? ???
??? ??? ??? ???
??? doesn't my hair grow faster ???
??? ???

[Sarcasm @This_Sarcasm_]

i wanna get hot and fit and healthy but like i dont wanna stop living off junk food and watching tv shows and sleeping until 4pm ya feel me

[Sarcasm @This_Sarcasm_]

i am sick of people thinking deodorant is optional

[Sarcasm @This_Sarcasm_]

What Girls Think About:
- him
- weight
- hair
- makeup
- clothes
- why he didn't text back
&everything else because we over think everything

[Sarcasm @This_Sarcasm_]

scientist: on average teenagers go on the internet 16 hours a week

me: you mean per day

scientist: what

me: what

[Sarcasm @This_Sarcasm_]

all clothes should be like $1

[Sarcasm @This_Sarcasm_]

i don’t get feelings until like 1am and then i get really sad over everything and want to die and fall in love and get married

[Sarcasm @This_Sarcasm_]

That mini heart attack when u miss a step.

[Sarcasm @This_Sarcasm_]

i’d be such a bad lawyer i’d just be like ‘your honour, tbh idk and idc like its up to u man

[Sarcasm @This_Sarcasm_]

[accidentally cares more about tv shows and fictional characters than education and academic success]

[Sarcasm @This_Sarcasm_]

we take the naps we think we deserve

[Sarcasm @This_Sarcasm_]

if ur thighs touch

u're basically one step closer to being a mermaid

so hey

who's the real winner here

[Sarcasm @This_Sarcasm_]

me flirting: what was the homework?

[Sarcasm @This_Sarcasm_]

me: *falls down*

mom: what was that noise?
me: my shirt fell
mom: sounded heavier than a shirt
me: i was in it when it fell

[Sarcasm @This_Sarcasm_]

i have 3 moods:
1. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. ???????????????????
3.?!?!?!!?!!?!?!?!?

[Sarcasm @This_Sarcasm_]

WHY DO A LOT OF GUYS HAVE SUCH LONG EYELASHES THAT THEY DONT EVEN NEED I WANT THOSE EYELASHES