Thomas Paine

Free market economist trying to speak truth to power. I believe in “Common Sense”, I am not a financial advisor.

[Thomas Paine @ThomasP79895735]

@EITMonline I hope the next time a restaurant is late, they tell Elliot they’re just trying to prolong his dopamine rush. Can’t wait to hear his response. 😬

[Thomas Paine @ThomasP79895735]

@EITMonline I was almost an OBGYN growing up… I was so close I could taste it…

[Thomas Paine @ThomasP79895735]

@EITMonline So Elliot wants your windshield to have transitions lenses? I guess that does make sense; they do say transitions lenses are the cargo shorts of the face.

[Thomas Paine @ThomasP79895735]

@EITMonline Maybe she couldn’t figure out how to send in a self addressed stamped envelope? #eitmonline #betterthanasticker

[Thomas Paine @ThomasP79895735]

@EITMonline There is no way Elliot has swam 900 miles. That is 63,360 laps. No way.

[Thomas Paine @ThomasP79895735]

@EITMonline Wait… you’re telling me Tyler is team narc? Never would have guessed…

[Thomas Paine @ThomasP79895735]

@SpotifyCares it seems like you guys are slowly making the free version worse so that everyone has to pay for it. We can’t even pick a song to play from an artist now??? They all just play random. Just another money hungry company, consistently increasing costs. Disappointing

[Thomas Paine @ThomasP79895735]

@EITMonline

[Thomas Paine @ThomasP79895735]

@EITMonline I was at the PGA the day after Scotty got arrested.

[Thomas Paine @ThomasP79895735]

@EITMonline Of course this person is single. Cause if my wife came home and told me she took a promotion but turned down the raise associated with it, my wife would also be single. Elliot knows what I’m talking about.

[Thomas Paine @ThomasP79895735]

@EITMonline Elliot is nervous every day, but is able to eat through it anyways.

[Thomas Paine @ThomasP79895735]

@EITMonline

[Thomas Paine @ThomasP79895735]

@EITMonline Garth Brooks’ popularity has also dropped because of all the murders he’s committed

[Thomas Paine @ThomasP79895735]

@EITMonline The difference between an escort and a prostitute is you CAN half screw an escort

[Thomas Paine @ThomasP79895735]

@EITMonline How did the nerd down the hall not say Star Wars

[Thomas Paine @ThomasP79895735]

@EITMonline Double Indemnity is a Billy Wilder movie, not Hitchcock. Wilder also did The Apartment and Some Like It Hot. Great film noir

[Thomas Paine @ThomasP79895735]

@EITMonline WE ARE THE MONKS!!!

[Thomas Paine @ThomasP79895735]

@WSJ @EITMonline Did Ross hashtag is donation #eitm??

[Thomas Paine @ThomasP79895735]

@EITMonline I feel like you could make some really cool 12/12 snow globes. It could be Tyler sitting in a stall. #1212 #neverforget

[Thomas Paine @ThomasP79895735]

@EITMonline