Thomas Pullen

hair long, willy short.

[Thomas Pullen @ThomasPullen19]

Quarantine means you can spend time bettering yourself!
Me bettering myself:

[Thomas Pullen @ThomasPullen19]

Me:
My gf: how old were you when your mums dad died?
Me:...
My gf still playing with my flacid little willy: nah im serious.

[Thomas Pullen @ThomasPullen19]

Hey babe, lets play a game called Hiroshima , ill lay on my back and you blow the shit out of me.

[Thomas Pullen @ThomasPullen19]

Leave your shoes in a wide stance so if a burglar comes in, they think you're big af.

[Thomas Pullen @ThomasPullen19]

Take a shower? You mean let my house piss on me? No thanks.

[Thomas Pullen @ThomasPullen19]

Went on a walk with a beautiful woman last night.
She noticed me, so we started running x

[Thomas Pullen @ThomasPullen19]

Me when anybody confronts me with even the most minor inconvenience.

[Thomas Pullen @ThomasPullen19]

@Telegraph Cant wait till they find out the greenskeper can just move the hole like they do every few days.

[Thomas Pullen @ThomasPullen19]

How come spiderman can put on a spandex costume and run about the streets doing rythmic gymnastics and be called a "Hero" but when i do it, suddenly im "Autistic"

[jo @lassoleil]

jason sudeikis, jason bateman, ed helms and will forte being mumford and sons in the hopeless wanderer music video is still my favorite thing in the world.

[Thomas Pullen @ThomasPullen19]

Spent the last few weeks in a fucking awful depressed state, but im different this week because work paid me shitloads of money. #materialgirl #lonely #bigmoney
#DrowningInTheAbyssThatIsDepression

[Thomas Pullen @ThomasPullen19]

Got naked on the 10th hole today after deciding going commando is my best bet in the hot sweaty weather.
#golf #nopants #averagepenis

[Thomas Pullen @ThomasPullen19]

I think id pay actual money to be beaten up by Margot Robbie.

[Thomas Pullen @ThomasPullen19]

Life peaked when billie ran down those stairs.

[Thomas Pullen @ThomasPullen19]

Today is basically an unrecognised national holiday in england.
Flying ant day.

[Thomas Pullen @ThomasPullen19]

Why god. Why do i have such high standards but nothing to back them up.

[Johnny Neff @JohnnyNeff_]

Her agent told her to give the performance of a lifetime and she did

[Thomas Pullen @ThomasPullen19]

I will be so upset if somebody sent me feet pics. pLEASE NOBODY DO IT. i will not be happy at all. I DONT want to see Your TOES.
@TerijakiSauce

[Thomas Pullen @ThomasPullen19]

You Make her gag by your size?
I make her gag by my smell.

[Thomas Pullen @ThomasPullen19]

My boss just saw me literally stood alone bashing two hammers together. Kill me.
#embarrassing #hammers #dissapointedBoss