Aaron Kapin

Somatic Experiencing Practitioner.

SE can help you reduce your anxiety/trauma and improve your resilience.

Also a dancer and communication geek.

#polyvagal

[Aaron Kapin @ThoughtfulSE]

Summer is a slow period for Somatic Experiencing. Almost like the sun distracts is from our introspective personal growth goals. Imagine that!

Interested in a sliding scale session?

https://t.co/dfFrfO08ui

[Aaron Kapin @ThoughtfulSE]

@brekolinari @LivLife0 @AlcmaeonidaeMKE @tiptonix @ianmiles I was talking about this with a friend, and they remarked that a lot of people are really upset at the word "cis" because they've heard it mostly in angry or derogatory contexts.

Does cis feel like a hateful word to you? If so, it totally makes sense you wouldn't like it.

[Aaron Kapin @ThoughtfulSE]

@brekolinari @LivLife0 @AlcmaeonidaeMKE @tiptonix @ianmiles Sure, you just asked for an example of why a trans person might identify themselves as trans

[Aaron Kapin @ThoughtfulSE]

@brekolinari @LivLife0 @AlcmaeonidaeMKE @tiptonix @ianmiles See our other thread for my response :-)

Also, original is still a label, it's just one which has less negative connotations than "cis"

[Aaron Kapin @ThoughtfulSE]

@brekolinari @LivLife0 @AlcmaeonidaeMKE @tiptonix @ianmiles 3) not trans" but that starts to feel linguistically awkward, and I imagine a lot of women wouldn't like being called "not trans" any more than they like being called cis.

I grant that those are very niche situations. Does it seem completely useless to you even in that context?

[Aaron Kapin @ThoughtfulSE]

@brekolinari @LivLife0 @AlcmaeonidaeMKE @tiptonix @ianmiles 2) we've consulted extensively with trans colleagues to make sure we aren't missing anything".

Sure she could say "I know I'm an original woman" but that could feel like she's bragging to all these trans women. Or she could say "I'm not trans, and my three colleagues are also

[Aaron Kapin @ThoughtfulSE]

@LivLife0 @AlcmaeonidaeMKE @brekolinari @tiptonix @ianmiles Is starting to feel like a slur to a lot of people...and I'm not attached to that word. But our language generally has opposites built into it for a reason: it's useful.

Gay/straight
Black/white
Rich/poor
Trans/??? Choose your word.

[Aaron Kapin @ThoughtfulSE]

@LivLife0 @AlcmaeonidaeMKE @brekolinari @tiptonix @ianmiles Not every cis woman has eggs. It's still ambiguous language.

Also, even if a trans woman passes as a woman, there will still be times she will want to be clear that she is trans. And there may be times that a cis woman wants to be clear that she's not trans.

I get that cis

[Aaron Kapin @ThoughtfulSE]

@brekolinari @AlcmaeonidaeMKE @LivLife0 @tiptonix @ianmiles Thanks for your patience sorry it took me so long to respond. I know we kind of lost the flow of the conversation

[Aaron Kapin @ThoughtfulSE]

@brekolinari @AlcmaeonidaeMKE @LivLife0 @tiptonix @ianmiles (2) that mostly a trans woman experience?"

Or I could ask them "do you think it's harder being a trans woman or a cis woman?"

Sure, there are other words I could use for not trans, but I think the point is that it can help clarify things to have an adjective for "not trans"

[Aaron Kapin @ThoughtfulSE]

@brekolinari @AlcmaeonidaeMKE @LivLife0 @tiptonix @ianmiles Right! It's nothing to be ashamed of; not my fault.
It is true that I'm white though. And there are times when that could be a useful descriptor.

I wonder...instead of debating whether 'cis' should be a word or not, what if we instead discussed when it's kind/useful to use?

[Aaron Kapin @ThoughtfulSE]

@brekolinari @AlcmaeonidaeMKE @LivLife0 @tiptonix @ianmiles Oh yeah, it's a charged atmosphere. I feel that way often when people call me a white guy...like yeah I am white but it can feel uncomfortable to point it out, especially if the context is naming bad things white folk have done.

[Aaron Kapin @ThoughtfulSE]

@brekolinari @AlcmaeonidaeMKE @LivLife0 @tiptonix @ianmiles Oh wow, I see. Yeah no one should be shamed for how they were born or how they identify. I'm so sorry if anyone has said that to you!

Can I ask what it is about the word that makes you feel like you should be ashamed of how you identify?

[Aaron Kapin @ThoughtfulSE]

@osage_or @elonmusk @ZubyMusic And I find myself...living in a genderless world...and I find myself....

Same as it ever was... :-D

[Aaron Kapin @ThoughtfulSE]

@brekolinari @AlcmaeonidaeMKE @LivLife0 @tiptonix @ianmiles Oh-- because they used it derogatorily?

I definitely get that-- I'm not sure when people refer to me as a "cis white man" in the same breath as telling me how I screwed something up.

[Aaron Kapin @ThoughtfulSE]

@helenfromsun @VoterScumbag @hormblende @elonmusk @ZubyMusic Not sure- here's the link I found: https://t.co/3VOyqwQLK2

You've mentioned angry trans women a couple times now - have there been news reports I missed? Seems like something specific happened.

[Aaron Kapin @ThoughtfulSE]

@helenfromsun @VoterScumbag @hormblende @elonmusk @ZubyMusic Totally! I guess my point is just that even though people couldn't tell my gender from the outside, they took my word for it. Granted, I appeared gender "neutral"...I didn't have any obvious female characteristics either.

But- people accepted me as the gender I stated.