Alf

Two jumps at th' cupboard door and a bite at th' latch.

[Alf @ThoughtsofAlf]

Do auditors have souls?

[Alf @ThoughtsofAlf]

1247 days since my last Spam sandwich.

[Alf @ThoughtsofAlf]

Did someone set out to actually invent Monday?

[Alf @ThoughtsofAlf]

I had plans to create the world’s biggest compost bin, but…someone (wink emoji) beat me to it.

[Alf @ThoughtsofAlf]

Fan profiles are a sticky wicket, don’t you know!

[Alf @ThoughtsofAlf]

When you don’t recognise yesterday’s Wordle answer on Cracking The Cryptic, and the light dawns…

[Alf @ThoughtsofAlf]

I did not forget Penny II; but Penny II has gone to meet Penny I, in Penny Heaven. Or somebody picked it up. Either way.

[Alf @ThoughtsofAlf]

Been There, Done That, Number Whatever: Bringing up the handfuls of water to rinse your face, and realising that a deep breath is coming.....

[Alf @ThoughtsofAlf]

If my ears burn any more I’m going to attach fire labels.

[Alf @ThoughtsofAlf]

We’ll be having a world cup of the best funny music to play over TikTok Vids (The Benny Hill theme is not allowed).

[Alf @ThoughtsofAlf]

Anyone else own a pair of trousers that have basically just given up?

[Alf @ThoughtsofAlf]

If the garden keeps growing, my solitude will be complete. And full of oxygen. I’ll sell you a bit.

[Alf @ThoughtsofAlf]

“It’s one of them cunnilingus clouds.”

[Alf @ThoughtsofAlf]

PennyII! I shall update progress. Unless I forget. Which is likely.

[Alf @ThoughtsofAlf]

I’ve sacked the proofraeder.

[Alf @ThoughtsofAlf]

Getting frustrated on keep having to poijt out that it should be a TenKeyFEWER keyboard.

[Alf @ThoughtsofAlf]

My whole life has become a word cloud.

[Alf @ThoughtsofAlf]

I wrote an entire thesis on the way football players celebrate success has evolved. Arm waving is a real skill, you know.

[Alf @ThoughtsofAlf]

I was surprised to see the message in a bottle, especially living 40 miles from the sea…

[Alf @ThoughtsofAlf]

My box plant has been totally destroyed by caterpillars. I know not whether to curse nature or marvel at her.