Biz Markie Post

Filmed before a live television audience.

[Biz Markie Post @TigerMWD]

Can we take a moment to discuss the second star?

[Biz Markie Post @TigerMWD]

@jamiedupree His full plan will be released in around two weeks...

[Biz Markie Post @TigerMWD]

@yashar I'm sure it will be released in around two weeks...

[Biz Markie Post @TigerMWD]

Ugh. Talking to dad about mom and his trip to Europe in October. He mentioned they are staying in Istanbul for two days. I replied "Not Constantinople?"

He replied, "No. Istanbul."

He didn't get / know the reference, and now I suspect I am adopted.

[Biz Markie Post @TigerMWD]

Had a great time at Fight Club last night. I was a little late, so I missed hearing all the rules.

Nonetheless, I highly recommend Fight Club to anyone who might be interested. If you have questions, feel free to ask me!

[Biz Markie Post @TigerMWD]

Friendly reminder that "Cyber Monday," is about online shopping.

Please refrain from sending texts or emails today if you believe otherwise.

[Biz Markie Post @TigerMWD]

Fantasy football is having the TE and WR for one team in League A, playing against the QB of that same team in League B, and trying to figure out for whom you should be rooting.

[Biz Markie Post @TigerMWD]

@DerrickEvans4WV If there was a second microwave available, I wouldn't care.

Why should I?

[Biz Markie Post @TigerMWD]

@HeerJeet @yashar “STOP MILITARY ACTION IN FOREIGN COUNTRIES
NO BLOOD FOR OIL”

Oh, I’m sorry, the printer got that all wrong. Let me fix it.

“STOP MILITARY ACTION OVERSEAS?
NO. BLOOD FOR OIL!”

[Biz Markie Post @TigerMWD]

That’s amazing! I’ve got the same combination on my luggage!

[Biz Markie Post @TigerMWD]

The Kidz Bop version of a Guns N' Roses classic.

"You know where you are? You're in the garden, baby! You're gonna stroll!"

[Biz Markie Post @TigerMWD]

When you haven’t had a lot of beers, but are adamant that this is the best one ever.

[Biz Markie Post @TigerMWD]

I’m stocked up for trick or treaters!

[Biz Markie Post @TigerMWD]

You're welcome.

This concludes my TED Talk for the day.

[Biz Markie Post @TigerMWD]

As Halloween approaches, some of you may be looking for costume ideas.

As such, please accept this humble, budget-friendly option.

When you attend a party, go shirtless, and ideally not have anything adorn your feet.

[Biz Markie Post @TigerMWD]

This will most likely have them taken aback, and they'll ask you to repeat yourself.

Once again, in a clear and concise way, repeat, "I'm 'Premature Ejaculation.'"

They will probably (and ideally) still be confused.

That's when you explain to them, "I just came in my pants."

[Biz Markie Post @TigerMWD]

My calendar from yesterday.

[Biz Markie Post @TigerMWD]

Ryan Walters resigning as the Oklahoma Superintendent probably already elevated the state to 49th in Education, at the least.

[Biz Markie Post @TigerMWD]

Wake me when they rename the DoD the "Department of Gwar."