King Kraner

love the life you live, live the life you love

[King Kraner @TimKraner]

'Cause damn, it was good knowin' you

[King Kraner @TimKraner]

Jack must think it’s heaven to be in the yard when it’s really windy out and sticks just fall out of the sky for him.

[King Kraner @TimKraner]

Blue is such a better color than red

[King Kraner @TimKraner]

Don’t you dare badmouth Star Wars, it was all accurate!

[Edward Snowden @Snowden]

This is a very big deal, and not in a good way.

The dissenting judge argues this "extreme departure from accepted constitutional and procedural law" ignores all evidence and totally abandons the Fourth Amendment.

The year has not been kind to the legitimacy of our court system.

[King Kraner @TimKraner]

Ever get a package of toilet paper and each role not have precut links?

This is how serial killers are born

[King Kraner @TimKraner]

All you ever talk about is becoming a pro hockey player, but there's a problem; you're not any good….

I am good…. You know what… you're a lousy kindergarten teacher. I've seen those finger-paintings you bring home and they SUCK!

[King Kraner @TimKraner]

Chainsaws are fun…

[King Kraner @TimKraner]

Imagine getting a paycheck at 100% rather than 65%.

We’d be rich!

[King Kraner @TimKraner]

Car dealerships really ought to offer beverages after a test drive rather soda/water.

I’m more apt to buy a car after a few beers than sober.

[King Kraner @TimKraner]

Football has too many rules

[King Kraner @TimKraner]

It’s too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin around here!

[King Kraner @TimKraner]

@suturestupor Genetics

[King Kraner @TimKraner]

I miss my fucking hair.

[King Kraner @TimKraner]

This whole waiting an extra hour to have a beer, is really throwing me off

[King Kraner @TimKraner]

“The judge says son, what is your alibi, if you were somewhere else then you won’t have to die”

[King Kraner @TimKraner]

Happy, how’s that nice girlfriend of yours?

Oh I didn’t tell you? She got hit by a car.. she’s dead!

[King Kraner @TimKraner]

Wait, you changed your name to McLovin?

[King Kraner @TimKraner]

Imagine a world in which contributing members of society didn’t give the people who have a problem with everything, a platform.

[King Kraner @TimKraner]

Tums are just adult candy