Tim Packett

I do all of my own stunts.

[Tim Packett @TimPackett]

If you are the Bane of my existence, does that make me the Batman of your existence?

[Tim Packett @TimPackett]

It takes a pretty smart guy to figure out that he's a moron.

[Tim Packett @TimPackett]

"Ein Prosit" is already stuck in my head for the next month. I apologize to anyone who finds themselves within earshot.

[Tim Packett @TimPackett]

I brought an odd number of socks on vacation.

[Tim Packett @TimPackett]

I'm pretty sure this is wrong, but for some reason my mind tells me that flat soda doesn't have caffeine in it anymore.

[Tim Packett @TimPackett]

Does anyone else miss the little notification/charging light that they used to put on cell phones?

[Tim Packett @TimPackett]

Yabba dabba don't.

[Tim Packett @TimPackett]

"Can I see your gluten free menu?" "This menu is gluten free. You can eat the whole thing...It's made of paper."

[Tim Packett @TimPackett]

I at barbecue, tacos, and pizza today. Best. Day. Ever.

[Tim Packett @TimPackett]

I want someone to burst in the door of my funeral screaming, "I object!" like Shrek.

[Tim Packett @TimPackett]

Who is the affluent sociopath that uses the "sort by price: high to low" option when online shopping?

[Grēves @Greves_nc]

CONTEST!!! Name our new mascot!

Repost this… https://t.co/Wg0aGqe4RL

[Tim Packett @TimPackett]

Just googled the nutritional value of wood. There is none because we can't digest it, but the serving size is 1 ruler.

[Tim Packett @TimPackett]

Get at us. Contest for followers coming soon! https://t.co/MVc2Vwl6bB

[Grēves @Greves_nc]

Well here we are on Twitter, you philistines. Follow us for updates, banter, and a glimpse into our dark, twisted minds. Hilarity ensued...

#metal #deathmetal #blackmetal #raleigh #nc #dtr #localmusic #localmusicsucks

[Tim Packett @TimPackett]

I saw a Nazi. Then almost got hit three times walking the one block from my car to work. #bikefest

[Tim Packett @TimPackett]

Pretty sure the lady working at the grocery store as I left told me to have the rest of my day and I'm mostly like...can I not?

[Tim Packett @TimPackett]

Vehicular anarchy.

[Tim Packett @TimPackett]

My credit card statement is literally just three pages of Raleigh Parking Meters charges.

[Tim Packett @TimPackett]

I was just waiting in line to check out at a gas station when someone called the store to inquire about their wine selection.

[Tim Packett @TimPackett]

Everybody looks like they're trying to find the 3D image on the back of a cereal box. #Eclipse2017