Tim Hanlon

Tim Hanlon. Comedian. DOPE CITY Comedy Tour.
coming to Seattle, Phoenix, Tacoma Spokane Boise, Brea, Irvine....

[Tim Hanlon @TimfromDa70s]

WAWA Vs. Cumberland Farms
#jokes #standup #standupcomedy #funny

[Tim Hanlon @TimfromDa70s]

People are like"everything sucks" but I'm like, we get public executions and the president is buying it for for$5,000! Do that's pretty cool.

[Tim Hanlon @TimfromDa70s]

Politicians should be forced to send their campaign spam texts from their personal phone.

[Tim Hanlon @TimfromDa70s]

Trump is tough on crime, unless she was asking for it

[Tim Hanlon @TimfromDa70s]

Crazy that a bunch of guys got away with rape under this administration.

[Tim Hanlon @TimfromDa70s]

Breaking News: the two Chinese Panda Bears were just shot by an ICE agent

[Tim Hanlon @TimfromDa70s]

What is the over under on the first time we hear about a police officer firing on a Waymo?
I Say Jan. 7th 2028

[Tim Hanlon @TimfromDa70s]

Time to retire the phrase "Could be worse"

[Tim Hanlon @TimfromDa70s]

Trump's getting grumpy, someone needs to change his diaper

[Tim Hanlon @TimfromDa70s]

Mitch McConnell looks like he's been getting his medication from Trump RX.

[Tim Hanlon @TimfromDa70s]

The FBI will now accept applicants who have admitted to commiting acts of beastiality. When asked for comment the dogs said "Ruh Rough"

[Tim Hanlon @TimfromDa70s]

I think the bomb dogs are a little upset about the new FBI protocals

[Tim Hanlon @TimfromDa70s]

Kash Patel really screwed the pooch yesterday

[Tim Hanlon @TimfromDa70s]

Mitch McConnell is back and looking as reptillian as ever

[Tim Hanlon @TimfromDa70s]

Next time y'all vote for a "business man" for President. Can you at least pick someone who is actually good at business?

[Tim Hanlon @TimfromDa70s]

Trump promised everyone $5,000 payola dividends. I'm gonna use mine to buy 8 gallons of gas!

[Tim Hanlon @TimfromDa70s]

How's the economy???
Well... we used to sell gold for cash, now we sell our plasma.

[Tim Hanlon @TimfromDa70s]

Why'd the chicken cross the road? To avoid a Flock camera recording and selling his personal information to a 3rd party.

[Tim Hanlon @TimfromDa70s]

Flock Cameras are data collectors, not cameras. A company would not be valued at $7 Billion because it "helped" recover 13 stolen cars.

[Tim Hanlon @TimfromDa70s]

For a state thats Governor is on wheels, the roads in Texas suck.

[Tim Hanlon @TimfromDa70s]

They are called Flock cameras because that's how they control their sheep