Timothy Chandler

Bark/Woof. Lover of the lord. Sheikh of the dog park.

[Timothy Chandler @TimmyBChandler]

easy

[Timothy Chandler @TimmyBChandler]

Dad: Where does Love Island take place?
Mom: Fiji
Dad: So why’s it called Love Island USA?

[Timothy Chandler @TimmyBChandler]

This Lukaku fella is … no, I can’t say it

[Timothy Chandler @TimmyBChandler]

If we invade Spain, does that mean we still advance?

[Timothy Chandler @TimmyBChandler]

We need to up our NIL budget for next world cup

[Timothy Chandler @TimmyBChandler]

I am neither rooting for nor against Switzerland now #Switzerland

[Timothy Chandler @TimmyBChandler]

I’d love to listen to Kier Starmer try to get this red card overturned #England #Losers

[Timothy Chandler @TimmyBChandler]

new way to say you have a boner: “i’m going perpendicular”

[Timothy Chandler @TimmyBChandler]

how do i explain to my kid in like 15 years that landry shamet played in the nba finals

[Timothy Chandler @TimmyBChandler]

karl anthony towns is melman from madagascar

[Timothy Chandler @TimmyBChandler]

Netflix better be filing a new original movie about the rescue of the american pilots from iran starring Thad Castle and John Cena

[Timothy Chandler @TimmyBChandler]

I’m so gassy at work today that Reinhard Heydrich would be impressed #GasX

[Timothy Chandler @TimmyBChandler]

me after one too many airport beers #airport #jfk

[Timothy Chandler @TimmyBChandler]

Mothers everywhere just started to dust off their resume

[Codie Sanchez @Codie_Sanchez]

You eventually start to realize, no job is safe.

[Timothy Chandler @TimmyBChandler]

@PRHarryK @Polymarket woof

[Timothy Chandler @TimmyBChandler]

@PRHarryK @Polymarket imagine if they didn’t use r*tarded soldiers… would’ve been way cheaper

[Timothy Chandler @TimmyBChandler]

@rawsalerts not to be that guy but how do you get stabbed in your own car on a highway? like maybe idk just don’t get out of your car on a highway? prayers to the victims but like what

[Timothy Chandler @TimmyBChandler]

when you said you’d grow up to be a pilot and destroy india but they send you to afghanistan instead

[Timothy Chandler @TimmyBChandler]

quite possibly the best community note of all time