Tim Bauer

I've read like 3 books so I'm too educated to be a Republican

[Tim Bauer @TinierTim]

Failing is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Here's my TEDx talk on learning to Become #Failworthy:

https://t.co/nVsFW3YcHL

[Tim Bauer @TinierTim]

@TheRewatchables hearing you guys discuss the best SNL movies and not even mentioning Blues Brothers is a crime against humanity

[Tim Bauer @TinierTim]

I think @TheDailyShow finally has a host as hilarious as @jonstewart in @DesiLydic .

Seeing her and Jon do a segment together on Monday's show was amazing.

[Tim Bauer @TinierTim]

@MLB Need!!!

[MLB @MLB]

A one-of-a-kind giveaway for a one-of-a-kind player!

Repost and reply for a chance to win this Shohei Ohtani-inspired stuffed unicorn 🦄

[Tim Bauer @TinierTim]

This line from succession never leaves me.

[Tim Bauer @TinierTim]

If you claim to be a Christian and you believe this administration speaks for Christian values, you don't understand your own religion at all.

You have never understood your own scripture.
You don't know your own God.
You don't have even a basic understanding of Jesus.

[Tim Bauer @TinierTim]

@Riley_Gaines_ I wish we could say this is the stupidest thing you've ever said

[Tim Bauer @TinierTim]

In the South Park episode dealing with racism ("With Apologies to Jesse Jackson"), the episode ends with empathy and legal protections being given to people who are outcast for racism while completely ignoring the victims of the actual racism.

Feels pretty spot on this week.

[Sesame Street @sesamestreet]

On our street, everyone is welcome. Together, let’s build a world where every person and family feels loved and respected for who they are. Happy #PrideMonth!

[Tim Bauer @TinierTim]

80% of white evangelical Christians voted for a candidate who cut off benefits for poor people and single mothers and then go to church and pretend to be best friends with Jesus

I wish Jesus was real, just so I could see the look on their faces when they find out what He thinks

[Tim Bauer @TinierTim]

@HBO I was expecting too much from the finale and somehow underestimated. The most Evanescent hour of television ever.

[Tim Bauer @TinierTim]

@AllGoodles can you settle a disagreement for me? What is "Vegan be Heroes" referencing with the pun? Is it Bowie? Or something/someone else?

[Tim Bauer @TinierTim]

Imagine the hypocrisy of pretending to be a Christian while voting for this.

[Tim Bauer @TinierTim]

@NakedGunMovie God I wish this was a parody and not a movie someone is actually making. WHY

[Tim Bauer @TinierTim]

If you're having a bad day, just remember there are literally millions of people who excused bigotry, sexism and criminal behavior because he would be "good for the economy"

[Tim Bauer @TinierTim]

If you're American and not enraged that they're revoking legal status of immigrants because of their political beliefs, you are a fucking moron

[Tim Bauer @TinierTim]

So I just downloaded @SignalApp. Anyone know how I sign up for the free war and bombing notifications?

[Lucas Sanders 👊🏽🔥🇺🇸 @LucasSa56947288]

Show of hands ✋🏾 who’s on Rep. Al Green’s side?

[Tim Bauer @TinierTim]

@JoJoFromJerz I think everyone in the world is past laughing at this point.

Plus, you have to be Canadian to make Evil funny.