Your Bartender

I'm not your friend. I'm not your bro. I'm not a stripper, and I'm definitely not your girlfriend. I'm your bartender. What can I get you?

[Bradley Traynor @bradleytraynor]

When do they yell out "LIVE FROM SATURDAY NIGHT!!!"? #debates

[Your Bartender @TipJarNYC]

#ABC - not #AgentCarter !!!!! Come oooonnnnn

[Your Bartender @TipJarNYC]

@candicelee14 @BitterAssServer EVEN WORSE!!! UHG!!

[Your Bartender @TipJarNYC]

@candicelee14 @BitterAssServer @ServerLifeSucks Curse them with "I hope your student loans...are NEVER FORGIVEN! MWAHAHAHAHA!"

[Your Bartender @TipJarNYC]

How do people not know what a closed bar looks like by now? #bartenderproblems

[Your Bartender @TipJarNYC]

Listening to these guys talk about Tinder apps and how "it's not shameful...it's a basic human need. A BASIC HUMAN NEED!"

[Your Bartender @TipJarNYC]

To add insult to injury, they are on their phones looking at million dollar apartments. #lastcall #bartenderproblems

[Your Bartender @TipJarNYC]

There is a special place in hell for that person that walks in at last call and says, "oh we'll just have a quick one."

[Your Bartender @TipJarNYC]

Not too embarrassed to tweet it @Lin_Manuel though apparently. #HamiltonProblems #twittercloakofinvisibility

[Your Bartender @TipJarNYC]

Fun fact: I had a random sex dream about @Lin_Manuel last night & have been too embarrassed to listen to the Hamilton soundtrack all day.

[Your Bartender @TipJarNYC]

Co-worker: ummmmm, I'm a millennial. I have the right to have no goals and complain about not having what I want.

[Your Bartender @TipJarNYC]

I want you guys to know that I survived another New Years and didn't kill any customers.

[Your Bartender @TipJarNYC]

For the LAST TIME - IF YOU JUST ASK FOR A "PINOT" I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO GET YOU. USE ALL THE WORDS

[Your Bartender @TipJarNYC]

I said it once and I'll say it again: Women are the WORST. #BartenderProblems #femenism #bethechange

[Your Bartender @TipJarNYC]

Watching one internet date compare passport stamps, the other compare instagrams.

[Paul Tabachneck @paultab]

@TipJarNYC that... You know, when I remember myself under 30....

[Your Bartender @TipJarNYC]

My manager just told me, "Musicians under 30 are for dating, not for respecting." #barwisdom

[Your Bartender @TipJarNYC]

Gotta say, it is an impressive view. #nycmarathon

[Your Bartender @TipJarNYC]

So by coming down here to be inspired by the marathon did you mean to just get shit faced and eat a lot? #nycmarathon

[Your Bartender @TipJarNYC]

I've never been to an Al-anon meeting, but I'm pretty sure it's a lot like this. #nycmarathon