Evan Warner

Hart'18, Actor, Hart Stage Tech, Scorpio, Hufflepuff

[Evan Warner @TisEvanWarner]

He had a bad day? If only there was somewhere he coulda got a massage

[Evan Warner @TisEvanWarner]

Snickers commercial: a man insists he needs to be treated for corona virus. The doctor hands him a snickers
"Feel better"
You aren't you when youre hungry

[Evan Warner @TisEvanWarner]

Why is my birth certificate in comic sans

[Evan Warner @TisEvanWarner]

@allisyn_a_arm @wiltern @DylanRSnyder @joeyluthman Garfield 2 a tale of two kitties

[Evan Warner @TisEvanWarner]

I feel like every song is made with the macarena in mind.

[Evan Warner @TisEvanWarner]

*Sees someone snapchat the sunrise*
*realizes that I've been waking up at 2pm consistently*
"Oof"

[Evan Warner @TisEvanWarner]

"Well, I screwed that up real good, didnt I?" -Richard Nixon

[Evan Warner @TisEvanWarner]

I swear walking across campus feels like a game of frogger

[Evan Warner @TisEvanWarner]

https://t.co/17vRISg166
Help me renovate the hart tepee

[Evan Warner @TisEvanWarner]

@tombambrick Yes which would make it my pet, peave.

[Evan Warner @TisEvanWarner]

@Daniel_Preci4do Oohhh don't you put that on me. That was there even when we met

[Evan Warner @TisEvanWarner]

I wanna get another animal and name it peave that way I would really have a pet peave

[Evan Warner @TisEvanWarner]

Im a warlock, I curse at people all the time

[Anthony Turpel @AnthonyTurpel]

@TisEvanWarner Thats deep

[Evan Warner @TisEvanWarner]

Back story doesn't matter in the heat of battle

[Evan Warner @TisEvanWarner]

"You take freedom away from the American people youre playing with fire... And I intend to pour some gasoline"
-wolfenstein II

[Evan Warner @TisEvanWarner]

Gotta get that Minute Maid® Premium Berry Blend

[Evan Warner @TisEvanWarner]

If I were a toy I'd be jacks

[Evan Warner @TisEvanWarner]

Del Taco is just a trap for dyslexics looking for Taco Bell

@tacobell #tacobell #tacos #foodie #tbh

[Evan Warner @TisEvanWarner]

Why is it that everything I eat is sodium