Toast Malone

Bread aficionado

[Toast Malone @ToastMalone__]

If you’re reading this tweet, it’s because you’ve been triggered so deeply that you’re now perusing my account to try and find some kind of insult.

Loser.

[Toast Malone @ToastMalone__]

@JordanJamie @wesmoss1018 @datzoulou @Coach_BHaines @MB_Weaver Fans think their team will win, opposing team's fans disagree.

Novel concept. Never before seen in human history.

You're mildly retarded at best.

[Toast Malone @ToastMalone__]

@jtodd8200 @Gabrielqui88217 @funnyperson47 @cjccbbhk5m @mattbegreatyt It was a stupid reply.

[Toast Malone @ToastMalone__]

@WarBlogle This isn't even accurate. Bama played 15 and had a winning record. So… more than Auburn.

[Toast Malone @ToastMalone__]

@Irish_fan_81 @overrated_sec ND beat zero ranked teams.

[Toast Malone @ToastMalone__]

@Niickysells @UTexasAthletics You seem upset. Still haven't recovered from being 0-2 against Bama in the playoffs?

[Toast Malone @ToastMalone__]

@Niickysells @UTexasAthletics Oklahoma is flat and smooth. Just like your brain.

[Toast Malone @ToastMalone__]

@Niickysells @UTexasAthletics Texas fan or not, you live in the land of hypotheticals… like a loser.

Enjoy it there. There's no world where Texas wins that game.

[Toast Malone @ToastMalone__]

@Niickysells @UTexasAthletics Based on what?

Glad I don't have to live in the land of hypotheticals like you losers.

[Toast Malone @ToastMalone__]

@Niickysells @UTexasAthletics McElroy attempted 11 passes. We didnt have to try to throw the football to score 37 points. Bama dominated the LOS the entire game.

We played prevent from basically half-time lmao. Then when Texas started to get a little momentum, we put the clamps down again and went up 17.

[Toast Malone @ToastMalone__]

@Niickysells @UTexasAthletics We did it with ease.

And we shut down a far better QB and offense in the SECCG. Colt wouldn't have changed the outcome.

[Toast Malone @ToastMalone__]

@rlara32 @UTexasAthletics We literally beat the dogshit out of #1 Florida and the original Spread offense led by Tebow the game before that 😂😂

You're clueless

[Toast Malone @ToastMalone__]

@Niickysells @UTexasAthletics Based on what? We literally handed the ball off the entire game. No questioning what we were going to do. They couldn't do anything to stop it.

[Toast Malone @ToastMalone__]

@RevSum @mattlawson99 @secnumbersguy That's a nice hypothetical that means absolutely nothing. Bama was coming off a complete shutdown of a way better team in UF. Tebow couldn't do shit but Colt was going to? Lmao

[Toast Malone @ToastMalone__]

@mattlawson99 @secnumbersguy Bama had two rushers go for 100 yards and barely even attempted to throw the ball because they knew that game was won. Lmao, Bama was winning that game no matter what.

Texas do shit with Colt in the game

[Toast Malone @ToastMalone__]

@alfkkifine When scarcity transfers provision to women, we’ll see how “safe” you all are.

[Toast Malone @ToastMalone__]

@Tapati1440 @johnpturtl78345 @Zoya_ki_batein The fact that you don't even understand why the headline is ridiculous and deluded shows who tends to be below average, and it isn't the average man.

There are 4s out there thinking they are 8-9s

[Toast Malone @ToastMalone__]

@fantasticarg3 @playnicenow2 @Wegiveyouhealt1 There's not a single person on Earth who has children who would agree that their love for their pets is the same as their love for their kids. They would laugh at you.

[Toast Malone @ToastMalone__]

@playnicenow2 @Wegiveyouhealt1 Having had pets, that I loved deeply, and now children. This is laughably ignorant. The two are not in the same galaxy, much less on the same plane.

[Toast Malone @ToastMalone__]

@xevekiah Modern women are so fucking retarded on average. It's insane.

Your doctor was trying to get you to think of the long term consequences of your actions. Not “override your autonomy” or whatever your rotting brain has convinced you of.

[Toast Malone @ToastMalone__]

@awoodustin Homer describes her as having thick, wavy golden-brown hair with dark blue "shining" eyes, "flawless" fair skin in a heavenly, divine appearance. The OG source of the entire movie describes her appearance.

It's obvious this is an attempt to get woke kudos, and that's annoying.