Ghost of Halloween past, present, and future visited me last night. Each one showed me a future with a different wife I met on Halloween. #wifedat#herpes
Hyped Knoxville up to my boys too hard. Unfortunately, if you can’t get action in the rest of the US, UTK is NOT where you’re meeting your wife. #cryaftersex#dudesbeugly#shesintheair
@TomBlowsworth Agreee with you here Thomas. Already spent mommy and daddy’s weekly allowance on plan B and will be damned to pay 12$ for a vodka cran. #fillingtank#timetohoop