Tom Harris

[James Rix @JamesRix18]

Shocking service by @ASOS @ASOS_Menswear

[Tom Harris @TomHarris9]

I've spent more time trying to find the end of sellotape today than I have doing anything else

[Tom Harris @TomHarris9]

Very nearly mastered the scissor glide this year

[Here To Not Get Fined @Parkour_Lewis]

Lol, that turtle was moving weight and hit the coast guard with “I just got tangled up”, legend https://t.co/UfZQGBEC4L

[Tom Harris @TomHarris9]

David Attenborough AND Louis Theroux in one night. What a treat

[Ascot United FC @AscotUnitedFC]

Happy Birthday to midfielder @RossiSeldon 🎉⚽️ #yellamen 💛💙

[Tom Harris @TomHarris9]

@xuxkidd It's heads down thumbs up you fool, otherwise you'd see who did it

[Tom Harris @TomHarris9]

I wish my friends and I knew how to have fun without getting so fucked up

[Tom Harris @TomHarris9]

Drunk Tom is such a dickhead. Passed out on a train at 6am, missed my stop and woke up to texts from a 'shamoo' asking if I made it home

[Tom Harris @TomHarris9]

Anyone got a number I can call regarding help for a Jaffa cake addiction?

[Tom Harris @TomHarris9]

So I told my uber driver about the ready meal, his response: 'he may as well have just slapped him in the face'

[Tom Harris @TomHarris9]

@EllieBlumenthal Heart's in the right place I guess

[Tom Harris @TomHarris9]

Just saw someone give a homeless man a ready meal.

[Tom Harris @TomHarris9]

Can you be an uber driver if you don't have a Toyota Prius? 🤔

[Tom Harris @TomHarris9]

To the man who Dutch ovened the fuck out of the tube today, well played sir

[Tom Harris @TomHarris9]

Last night was about as severe as beer pressure gets

[Tom Harris @TomHarris9]

Got full on slapped in the face by a 42 year old woman last night for literally being a little charming gentleman 🙃

[Tom Harris @TomHarris9]

Fell asleep on the train only to be rudely awoken by an elbow twitch straight into the woman next to me and about 30 eyes starring at me 👀🙃

[Tom Harris @TomHarris9]

Treated myself to some Percy pigs and those incredible chocolate brownie mars bars though. Justified by the thought of missing love island.

[Tom Harris @TomHarris9]

I ran for the 15min train. I fucking ran. Only to find out the station was shut. Hour later and I'm an hour from Windsor, where I don't live