Thomas Henry

It's all a joke

[Thomas Henry @TomHenryComedy]

For American friends who want to understand Europe better:

Southern Europe is happy drinking.
Northern Europe is sad drinking.

[Thomas Henry @TomHenryComedy]

@JoeListComedy @barstoolsports @BarstoolPAT This is why Joe is the man!

[Thomas Henry @TomHenryComedy]

Roasting Americans in Paris 🤣

[Thomas Henry @TomHenryComedy]

@FreddyQuinne 🤣

[Thomas Henry @TomHenryComedy]

@JoeBiden This tweet aged worse than Biden

[Thomas Henry @TomHenryComedy]

I feel like Women get imposter syndrome at work and men get imposter syndrome druing sex.
In both cases, we find it hard to believe they’re satisfied with our performance.

[Thomas Henry @TomHenryComedy]

Trump is gonna be so confident now.
He couldn’t be assassinated by a speeding bullet, while Biden
could probably be assassinated
by a stiff breeze.

[Thomas Henry @TomHenryComedy]

Trump survived a mean glance from a deadly bullet.
Meanwhile, I doubt Biden could survive a mean glance from his wife at this point.

[Thomas Henry @TomHenryComedy]

@jimhamilton4 Couldn’t agree more Jim

[Thomas Henry @TomHenryComedy]

Just completed my “overheard in East London” bingo card in one sitting.

The winning phrases were:

Freelance
Gender fluid
Creative director
Side hustle
E-comm brand
Ethical capital

[Thomas Henry @TomHenryComedy]

@marknelsoncomic 🤣

[Thomas Henry @TomHenryComedy]

So not only do baby boomers own all the houses, refuse to retire and demonize the young, they’re also now just
*checks notes*
PLAYING MUSIC ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT WITH NO HEADPHONES

These guys are just feral teens with second homes 🤣

[Thomas Henry @TomHenryComedy]

I overheard a table of Gen Z kids saying all their relationships have been “open, with multiple people”.

No wonder 21year olds are anxious!

STRAIGHT to open relationships?!

That’s like going straight from driving a toy truck to driving a fork lift truck,
no lessons 🤣

[Thomas Henry @TomHenryComedy]

Interacting with Parisians is tough.
They hate it when we speak English, but they mock us when we speak French.
Every conversation in this city feels like a game show where the rules change based on how you answer the questions 🤣

[Thomas Henry @TomHenryComedy]

If heaven exists that means people are in there from HUNDREDS of years ago.

Surely they would get kicked out of heaven based on modern standards?

Cos the bar was low in 1224.
Back then, you were progressive if you didn’t kill your wife when she overcooked the turnips.

[Thomas Henry @TomHenryComedy]

I know I’m starting to fit in, in Paris, because every time I hear someone speak English in a restaurant I like, I am FUCKING FURIOUS.
Goodbye Tom, Bonjour Tômas.

[Thomas Henry @TomHenryComedy]

The French love food, but you can’t find bacon anywhere in France.
Do they hate Americans THAT much?

[Thomas Henry @TomHenryComedy]

Apparently Trump is appealing,
Stormy Daniels said: “No he’s not.”

[Thomas Henry @TomHenryComedy]

To all parents everywhere on behalf of the rest of us:

Your child playing a mind numbing game on full volume in a train carriage does not prove they have “spirit” it proves you’ve failed. 😎

[Thomas Henry @TomHenryComedy]

Honestly you can keep first class, premium, all that stuff.

I just want two sections:
- Have you ever used this method of transport before?
- Everyone else.

[Thomas Henry @TomHenryComedy]

I think Paris is where you move to when you’re over New York. As Oscar Wilde said: “when good Americans die, they go to Paris.”

[Thomas Henry @TomHenryComedy]

Berlin feels like where you move to when you can’t afford New York.