Thomas Curran

The official twitter account of Thomas Curran.
Tweets & opinions are my own. Retweets are not necessarily endorsements.

[Thomas Curran @Tom_Curran92]

@qrsupport @KyleFitzJKA Get him away from us asap! 👀

[Albert Dolan TD @albertdolan_]

The 8 year deemed disposal rule is unfair and has to go

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

The company hired me to lead their "Agile Transformation."
I don't know what Agile means.
Nobody does.
That's why it works.

I make $425,000 a year.
To move sticky notes.
From left to right.
On a board.
The board is digital now.
The sticky notes cost $80,000 in Jira licenses.
Progress.

Day one, I said "we need to break down silos."
Everyone nodded.
Silos are bad.
I don't know why.
But destroying them is a career.
My career.

I introduced "squads."
Squads are teams.
But disrupted.
We disrupted the teams into teams.
Different names.
Same people.
Same problems.
But Agile problems now.
Agile problems are strategic.

A senior engineer asked what we're actually changing.
I said, "The mindset."
He asked what that means.
I said, "It's a journey."
He asked where we're going.
I said, "Toward agility."
He asked what agility means.
I pointed at the sticky notes.
They were moving left to right.
That's velocity.
We have velocity now.

The VP of Engineering said two-week sprints don't fit their work.
I said, "That's waterfall thinking."
Waterfall is bad.
Like silos.
I don't know what waterfall is.
But I know it's bad.
She stopped talking.
Waterfall accusations end conversations.

We had a retrospective.
In the retro, we discussed what went wrong.
Everything went wrong.
We put it on sticky notes.
Then we moved the sticky notes.
Into a column called "Parking Lot."
The Parking Lot is where problems go to die.
It's full.
We don't look at it.
That's agile.

Velocity is up 40%.
I defined velocity.
I also defined the points.
I also defined the stories.
We're crushing it.
At the things I made up.
To measure.
Ourselves.

The CEO asked for ROI.
I showed a chart.
The chart went up.
Charts should go up.
This one did.
I didn't label the Y-axis.
Nobody asked.
Leadership is confidence.

We do standups now.
Every day.
We stand.
For 45 minutes.
Standing is agile.
Sitting is waterfall.
My legs hurt.
But we're transforming.

The transformation is now "Phase 3."
Phase 1 was assessment.
Phase 2 was implementation.
Phase 3 is "continuous improvement."
Continuous means forever.
Forever means job security.
I'm very secure.

My contract was extended.
Three more years.
For "cultural impact."
The culture is confused.
But impacted.

Agile transformation isn't about being agile.
It's about transforming.
Continuously.
Toward more transformation.
The destination is the journey.
The journey is billable.

[VV @TheEngancheEra]

The moment of 2025…. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Thomas Curran @Tom_Curran92]

@0xInk_ Dont know why, but this reminded me of ep.1 of The Boys
Not that would be sick as a game!

[Paddy Power @paddypower]

To the people of Portugal and Hungary - you’ve just been flossed by the dentist and there’s nothing you can do about it

[Thomas Curran @Tom_Curran92]

@paytondev I prefer the old school icons before this

[TUNMISE @Tunmise_ralph]

She was tricked twice 🥹🥹😂😂

[george @StokeyyG2]

This Paddy Power advert featuring the Man United fan not cutting his hair until they win 5 games in a row is brilliant 👏🤣

[1X @1x_tech]

NEO The Home Robot
Order Today

[Thomas Curran @Tom_Curran92]

@cessonmute Aroused 🤷

[Bill Badbody @Bill_Badbody]

Isak Fails To Turn Up For Liverpool Training In Bid To Force Real Madrid Move https://t.co/03G8Ur7i7y

[Jamie Kennedy @jamierkennedy]

Total Ryder Cup points.

(Since it became Europe vs USA in 1979)

🇪🇺 295.5
🇺🇸 292.5

Just three points. Over 588 matches.

[Thomas Curran @Tom_Curran92]

@the_Bradster007 Hawkeye

[Austin Sapin @AustinSapin]

Shane Lowry has now said "F*** this place" at 3 of 4 majors this year!

He'll be looking for the grand slam in '26.

[Kevin W. @Brink_Thinker]

Kindness costs nothing but changes everything. 🫶
https://t.co/UWHNks4dxP

[Thomas Curran @Tom_Curran92]

@IrishinEurVoice @MichealLehane About time someone said it!

[Moody Bastard @Boss__Tha]

Sad news from my mate and his wife on honeymoon in Croatia

Just got a text message to say they're going to Split

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

David Kelly of JPMorgan, $JPM: "The trouble with tariffs, to be succinct, is that they raise prices, slow economic growth, cut profits, increase unemployment, worsen inequality, diminish productivity and increase global tensions. Other than that, they’re fine."

[NUCLR GOLF @NUCLRGOLF]

Tiger Woods mom is the reason he wears red on Sundays. RIP Tida 🙏

(Via: todayshow/IG)