Tom Green

[Tom Green @TomtheDukeGreen]

@SW_Help I’m currently at Brookwood having rearranged my entire workday because the 0701 from Hook was going to take more than 2 hours to get to Waterloo. There’s absolutely no sign of anything being wrong and the station staff don’t even know that there is an issue. G e t a g r i p

[Tom Green @TomtheDukeGreen]

@BBCBreakfast what an interview, I’m now late for work because of it. @SholaMos1 I’m more inclined to believe a Royal Household expert over someone who puts forward the “it’s 2020 you can do whatever you want” argument 👀

[Tom Green @TomtheDukeGreen]

@harrietgreen number one sufferer https://t.co/bp3I58r9ZA

[Quite Interesting @qikipedia]

Word of the day: GEMAS - (Indonesian) the feeling that causes the irresistible urge to squeeze someone/thing because they are so cute.

[Tom Green @TomtheDukeGreen]

@wright_carys I am!! Are you around? Heading home back to London tomorrow

[Tom Green @TomtheDukeGreen]

Couldn't recommend @sisterscomedy at cowgatehead more; scintillating comedy that includes a live stream from Cardiff no less @TheFreeFringe

[Tom Green @TomtheDukeGreen]

@ajalouise it is me but I'm not in Liverpool! I'm in Switzerland...!

[Tom Green @TomtheDukeGreen]

Nothing like a trip to downtown Tring to increase your self-confidence

[Tom Green @TomtheDukeGreen]

@OtherGuysStAs I hear you're going on tour?

[Tom Green @TomtheDukeGreen]

@OtherGuysStAs alright thanks

[The Other Guys @OtherGuysStAs]

@thedukegreen how's life?

[Tom Green @TomtheDukeGreen]

'illin at the French Institute Royaume-Uni getting my enrolment on

[Tom Green @TomtheDukeGreen]

@charliehockless Salve America fecisti desiderium meum spiritum calidum in aurem vestram? #lateres

[Tom Green @TomtheDukeGreen]

@charliehockless diligentius inspiciunda sint loafers

[Tom Green @TomtheDukeGreen]

@charliehockless I'm not good enough at maths to know if that utilisation of Signum majoritatis ut a et significet a majorem quam b is good

[Tom Green @TomtheDukeGreen]

#shoulderupdate: right under-arm hygiene becoming an issue. Novelty of having a stress ball permanently attached to arm has worn off.

[Tom Green @TomtheDukeGreen]

@charliehockless I hate you. I'm still revising for my #eggsams. We'll have an nice cold beer when you get back. #ouimonsieurcandy

[Tom Green @TomtheDukeGreen]

@charliehockless where are you going?

[Tom Green @TomtheDukeGreen]

@ted_haxby sorry I want to be your man...