Tones Capones

Keep it dope diq pussies

[Tones Capones @TonezCaponez]

Life is just the progression of making a new milk your main milk.

[Tones Capones @TonezCaponez]

Thank you @elonmusk for taking all the anxiety out of road head with FSD v14.3.4

[Tones Capones @TonezCaponez]

Believing in leprechauns is less gay than being an atheist.

[Tones Capones @TonezCaponez]

Hey @instagram when I like that diabolical racist reel and then unlike it so people don’t see. Treat that like a double like.

[Tones Capones @TonezCaponez]

If I shit my pants and act like everything is fine did I even shit my pants? I call that Schrödinger's shat.

[Tones Capones @TonezCaponez]

Didn’t know I was faggot like that.

[Tones Capones @TonezCaponez]

When life gives you lemons make lemonade. When life is dyslexic and gives you melons make an OnlyFans.

[Tones Capones @TonezCaponez]

If you have to sit on the sink you ain’t thicc.

[Tones Capones @TonezCaponez]

I have never seen a boob then gone on to have a bad day.

[Tones Capones @TonezCaponez]

They say white people have no culture. Well who came up with the most used word in all your rap songs?

[Tones Capones @TonezCaponez]

I’ve never been closer to shitting my pants today. Shoutout to whoever made the coffee at @CREMACREMA. 8 oz lit my brain on fire & now my toilet has a half-life of 3 days. Black nectar had me driving straight legged without a seatbelt trying to make a diamond with my ass cheeks.

[Tones Capones @TonezCaponez]

If another white woman apologizes for simply walking past me I’m gonna start replying “ya you better be bitch!”

[Tones Capones @TonezCaponez]

Am I the only one who keeps the extra chick fil a sauces in the center console for my pleasure? Road head will never be the same.

[Tones Capones @TonezCaponez]

I’m not being nice letting you J walk while I’m driving down 12th South, bro. Your girl has a fat ass.

[Tones Capones @TonezCaponez]

Accidentally sprayed myself with extra virgin olive oil thinking it was bug spray.

[Tones Capones @TonezCaponez]

@mmmshawtysnap 🤣

[Tones Capones @TonezCaponez]

Am I think only one that knows someone is deaf just from looking at them? I don’t have to see them sign or hear them talk. I just know.

[Tones Capones @TonezCaponez]

“My dog loves the hose.” “My dog loves the hoes.” English is bullshit.

[Tones Capones @TonezCaponez]

Has anyone ever seen a 10 at BUC-EE’S?

[Tones Capones @TonezCaponez]

What’s your type? Firefighters. Well how about I blow out these candles and you blow me?