Tony Billmeier

[Tony Billmeier @TonyBillmeier]

https://t.co/dvwy2RtTNy

[Tony Billmeier @TonyBillmeier]

https://t.co/iCflUC1PIe

[Tony Billmeier @TonyBillmeier]

My motivation and I are in a long-distance relationship… it lives somewhere far, far away.

[Tony Billmeier @TonyBillmeier]

My brain at 2am: let’s solve every problem in life
My brain at 9am: best I can do is stare at a wall

[Tony Billmeier @TonyBillmeier]

why do we panic when a website asks us to create a password with:
1 capital letter, 1 symbol, 1 number, a haiku, and the blood of our ancestors?

[Tony Billmeier @TonyBillmeier]

If mornings had a warning label, it would say:
“Side effects may include confusion, poor decisions, and talking to inanimate objects like they personally offended you.”

[Tony Billmeier @TonyBillmeier]

If we evolved from cavemen… why do we still open the fridge, stare at everything, close it, and then reopen it like new food might have spawned?

[Tony Billmeier @TonyBillmeier]

Used a gender free bathroom yesterday. I had to take a she/it. I remembered to wipe my they/them

[Tony Billmeier @TonyBillmeier]

If we replace “procrastinating” with “strategically delaying success,” suddenly I sound way more professional.

[Tony Billmeier @TonyBillmeier]

That fart had the personality of rotten eggs and the confidence of a leaf blower

[Tony Billmeier @TonyBillmeier]

I just farted so violently my chair filed a noise complaint and the air asked for a restraining order

[Tony Billmeier @TonyBillmeier]

That fart slid out warm and silent like a ninja made of cabbage

[Tony Billmeier @TonyBillmeier]

Somewhere out there is a potato whose entire destiny is to become one single French fry in the bottom of a bag that nobody notices until the ride home. 😆

[Tony Billmeier @TonyBillmeier]

https://t.co/goN671moqB

[Tony Billmeier @TonyBillmeier]

check this out you can pick 4 food items for our military and they will package and ship for free https://t.co/wRhT9Reo9M

[Tony Billmeier @TonyBillmeier]

@femalebodybuil6 The closeness of female body seems to help

[Tony Billmeier @TonyBillmeier]

https://t.co/jlqRR73rIr

[Tony Billmeier @TonyBillmeier]

Looking for lock screen photos for the new IOS 26. Any suggestions?

[Tony Billmeier @TonyBillmeier]

@rileys22wrld Yes