Tony

[jxke. 🧸🎰🃏 @cantguardjake]

Listening to my little league coach yell at us due to the stress over his impending divorce while I think about how i’m gonna tell him I left my cleats at home

[pingu @pingu4ll]

i wish i had a hamster's ability to die under severe stress

[Nate @thenatewolf]

ME: I know you from somewhere

JESUS: I get that a lot

ME: No I’m sure

JESUS: Just one of those faces

ME: [holding my arms out] Go like this

[arielll bitch mother fucker @jitwoee]

i asked a deaf person to speak up today because i couldn’t hear them and their translator yelled at me saying it was inappropriate i asked that but they were talking derrrr to me so what do u expect

[Nicholas J. Fuentes @NickJFuentes]

Howard Lutnick needs to be fired.

Les Wexner needs to be indicted.

And the DOJ needs to unredact and release every single one of the 6 million Epstein files and investigate everybody who is implicated. This isn’t going away.

[Jvnior @Jvnior]

JUST IN: Jews are spitting at the entrance where Jesus Christ prayed on the Mount of Olives.

They convinced you this is your greatest ally.

[Holden Culotta @Holden_Culotta]

Tim Dillon: “Everything is a scripted reality show.”

“You’re grabbing people left and right … you then have protests everywhere and you have ICE responding with deadly force.”

“You’re stirring the pot and creating mini civil wars all over the country that people are watching on television.”

“And you’re not going after employers that are employing illegal labor.”

“You’re not going after the big hotel magnates that employ illegal labor.”

“You’re not going after big agricultural firms that do the same thing.”

“If you are using illegal labor to build housing, housing should be cheap, right?”

“Agriculture, there’s a lot of illegal labor used in agriculture.”

“Then the food should be cheap, right?”

“Well, no. The food is the most expensive it’s ever been.”

“What about the houses?”

“They’re the most expensive they’ve ever been.”

“What about staying at hotels and eating out at restaurants?”

“No, that’s more expensive than it’s ever been.”

@TimJDillon

[Thomas Massie @RepThomasMassie]

Psst, Denmark…

Tell this administration the Epstein files are in Greenland… they’ll lose all interest and will never be able to find it.

[KJGD | Static🇨🇲🇪🇨🇨🇦 @MightBeStatic]

No seriously what the hell were they doing

[Tehran Tadhg @TadhgHickey]

Every single one of these is hilarious

[NFL Memes @NFLMemes]

Rashee Rice finally understand what it feels like to get unexpectedly hit at a high rate of speed and have the man responsible leave the scene

[Eren 💋 @erenfromtargets]

cavemen describing what a elephant is to their tribe after encountering them for the first time

[Nate @thenatewolf]

I would have been so good at hunting that I’d have extra time to help gather. I would’ve been laughing with your girl in the blackberry brambles.

[flower beard guy aka the professional shagger @StevyTweets]

This one right here is absolutely had me in tears

[Pookie @PookiesParadise]

i need to come up with a scam ASAP

[zonk @CastinZonk]

Asking for a cigarette then adding it to my own pack