Granted

Milwaukee’s Best Ice Enthusiast

[David Hughes @david8hughes]

The dog in Scooby-Doo pissed me off so much. Oh you’ll do it for a Scooby snack? How about you do it or we’ll have you put down

[Miaxi @Miaxi915]

insane goodwill pickup

[Jack @FuneralDrinker]

Just ate some bacon from Dollar Tree and now my neck won’t turn

[Allison Online 💾 (50 Hours Free) @IceStationSpmda]

If you drink precisely enough while playing pool you start to see trajectories and overlays and shit

[Qadi @Bigqadi]

Me at the bar when my friends r talking to someone I don’t know

[chad garland @chadgarland]

Make me shell out money to get my stiff-collared Blues on and stand around awkwardly trying to mingle with NCOs and officers I barely like, I’m gonna bitch. But for this I’ll happily don the most majestic uniform in the U.S. military.

[︎︎ s @saeioura]

saw someone i know randomly out in public, proceeded to text them a photo of them from behind with no further explanation , then got to revel in watching them frantically spin around trying to find me.

[k @ysljennii]

how i feel when i double-tap my AirPods to skip a song

[dash @thedigitaldash_]

wha happen when i’m gonna taking the playstation

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to log into Microsoft Authenticator 47 times a day.

[Papii🥤 @ammalusty]

i cannot stop spending money. I am the primary breadloser of my household

[☥𝐋𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐱 @fw_lennox1]

Uber driver: *drops me off at the wrong location*
Me (shy): "This is perfect"

[k @locsexual]

why is nyc lingo so sexually charged

[🐝 Bee 🐝 @SavinTheBees]

Slot machines when you win .75 cents:

[fishious @fishquichee]

(Laughing with a friend) so what should we laugh about next

[autist @litteralyme0]

When someone is laughing and socializing instead of taking their turn at the board game we're playing

[Chase @chaselyons]

are u okay bro? I’ve noticed u haven’t been going as hard in the motherfucking paint recently

[Mary. J Barbie 𓄂 𓃶𓆙 @GayJigga]

@Roysenotes Papa John on his revenge tour

[autist @litteralyme0]

How it feels to say "lemme see" after they showed everyone but you