Big Took

Hi I'm Tooky (rhymes with cookie). I am a potato, I'm a hilarious stand-up comic, and you love me.❤️

[Big Took @TookyMonster]

People are just straight-up taking the wildest liberties on the T.
#MBTA #MBTAFail #WhereTheyDoThatAt?

[Big Took @TookyMonster]

This is where Zordon shits

[🅱️ete oaks @b0newalljackson]

carrying her across the threshold into the honeymoon suite then taking the gnarliest shit of my life

[Big Took @TookyMonster]

Kill strawberries

Fck raspberries

Marry blackberries

[Big Took @TookyMonster]

And I just KNOW … that had they existed at the same time in the same place, Harriet Tubman would’ve HAPPILY left Clarence Thomas behind at whatever plantation he was on.

Fcking KEEP him.

[The Joseph Nemo @JosephNemo171]

@ABC We’re doomed!

[Big Took @TookyMonster]

If that man only has a moderate opinion of the frail sh!t, and has no knowledge of what kind of scale to use when the c0ke comes in….. he is NOT the one, sis.

Leave that man alone bc he can’t do a damn thing for you.

[Big Took @TookyMonster]

Where I’ve been donating my money lately:

The Avon Barksdale Bail Relief Fund

The D’Angelo Barksdale & Wallace Memorial Scholarship

The Lock Roland Pryzbylewski Under The Jail Commission

The Jim McNulty Hamsterdam Community Rehabilitation Center

Omar for Mayor ‘05

[Big Took @TookyMonster]

@ItsBrettCB I don’t think The People want me to do a sardine muckbang!

[Big Took @TookyMonster]

Anyway, good morning.

I’m just here to announce that I just bought an inordinate amount of sardines today. Not quite criminal, but certainly an almost shameful amount, really.
Like a “What Is Wrong With You” amount of sardines.

And yes, imma eat em all.

Kbye.

[Big Took @TookyMonster]

No.

[Akira @Akir_a997]

GIRL TO GIRL… be honest….
If you could stay home, raise babies, and run a cozy homemaker life… would you?

[Big Took @TookyMonster]

I strongly believe this would be an effective way for Catholic schools to reduce their rates of attrition.

[Big Took @TookyMonster]

This is the dawning of the 🎶Age of Reheated Nachos🎵

[maxx @battleupsaber]

This is what the Jackson estate is trying to censor from you!!!

#ReleaseTheKaijuDanceCut

[Big Took @TookyMonster]

SINNERS deserves all its flowers.

[Big Took @TookyMonster]

Twenty-twenty-siiiiiiiick 🤟🏽😝

[Big Took @TookyMonster]

My personal ranking of nuts as of December 2025. (This list is subject to change at any time and at my discretion.)

1. Macadamia
2. Cashew
3. Hazelnut
4. Pecan
5. Peanut
6. Brazil Nut
7. Walnut
8. Pistachio
9. Almond
10. Pine nut

[Big Took @TookyMonster]

Jake Paul gotta go and get that Zac Efron special, huh?

[Big Took @TookyMonster]

If SNL is a horror movie, Keenan Thompson is the final girl.

[Big Took @TookyMonster]

If he doesn’t come home from work every day and greet you with a resounding BOMBOCLAAAAAT, he is not your man, sis.

He don’t love you; he is for the streets.

[Big Took @TookyMonster]

Same.