Katelyn

💗💜💙 happily bi | 🍑 living in the south | 🍕 your garden variety pizza enthusiast

[Katelyn @TopTierKatelyn]

She's a 10 but she whispers "that's a spicy meat-a-ball" every time you take your pants off

[Katelyn @TopTierKatelyn]

the most effective alarm clock in the world is your dog announcing its presence wetly

[Katelyn @TopTierKatelyn]

Me: I'm going to lick up every last drop of you

My popsicle: *blushes*

[Katelyn @TopTierKatelyn]

me: stop staring at my mouth and kiss me

dentist: *pushing me back down* again, no

[Katelyn @TopTierKatelyn]

If you drink enough diablo sauce you gain the full powers of satan himself*

*unfathomable diarrhea faucet, cannot be turned off

[Katelyn @TopTierKatelyn]

@Under1kContest Thankyee kindly https://t.co/7EJptI0Rhs

[Katelyn @TopTierKatelyn]

entering the Taco Bell pokéstop, praying for Baja Blastoise

[Katelyn @TopTierKatelyn]

Me: did you know lizards eat the skin they shed for its nutrients?

Him: seriously do not even look at my sunburn

[Katelyn @TopTierKatelyn]

in search of emotional support, just found out mtn dew code red flavor is not based on a real threat level

[Katelyn @TopTierKatelyn]

When two sugar daddies love each other very much, they form a complex carbohydrate

[Katelyn @TopTierKatelyn]

What do you call it when 2 sugar daddies fall in love?

[Katelyn @TopTierKatelyn]

@rywhy88 Turns out you're really into it and you become the next Thanos just to experience that sexual high one more time.

[Katelyn @TopTierKatelyn]

My body when I choose to wake up

[Katelyn @TopTierKatelyn]

Feeling nasty today, might eat the crust on my sandwich later.

[Katelyn @TopTierKatelyn]

Hi I'm Katelyn and I like to party*

*feel quiet dread in most social contexts

[Katelyn @TopTierKatelyn]

turns out it is frowned upon to shoot for the stars when you're at Red Lobster, even in an open carry state

[Katelyn @TopTierKatelyn]

@StorvLovesYou Doritos Locos Tentacruel

[Katelyn @TopTierKatelyn]

entering the Taco Bell pokéstop, praying for Baja Blastoise

[Katelyn @TopTierKatelyn]

@amariandafern Lot of ominous tweets today re:your ability to survive madame

[Katelyn @TopTierKatelyn]

him: babe we've been together 5 years, I think I'm finally ready to try the hardcore shit

me: omg yes *pulls out box of Cap'n Crunch Oops! All Dildos*

[Katelyn @TopTierKatelyn]

power walking from my problems because running will draw their attention

[Katelyn @TopTierKatelyn]

A Walk to Remember but it's just me stubbing my toe real bad and crying about it