Tori Bear

25. Writer. Reader. Playwright. Aspiring TV host. Loud. Funny. Lover of most things and hater of only a few.

[Tori Bear @ToriHannesson]

Sometimes I get old jingles from commercials stuck in my head and am shocked when no one immediately recognizes the sick beat from the alarm force jingle #call18002672001alarmforce

[Tori Bear @ToriHannesson]

In my family we don’t say “ouch that must have hurt,” we laugh and say “well what did you do that for” and I think that’s beautiful

[Tori Bear @ToriHannesson]

Nothing more passive aggressive than a “buh bye” rather than just a “goodbye” #CustomerService #damngirl

[Tori Bear @ToriHannesson]

"I hope she makes a decision" #titleofmymemoir

[Tori Bear @ToriHannesson]

@TheLastZed It’s always people who’ve known me for a long time and it always comes off passive aggressive for some reason 😓

[Tori Bear @ToriHannesson]

I don’t know why but it really bugs me when people overuse a person’s name in regular conversation. "Hey tori! How’s it going tori. What did you say tori?" It’s like you’re trying to prove you know my name or sell me on my own name #weirdannoyances

[Tori Bear @ToriHannesson]

You can’t be a bully and have braces. It just doesn’t work. Your own damn teeth aint even intimidated by you #checkyourself #tvshowflaws

[Tori Bear @ToriHannesson]

I’m genuinely concerned about how many times the Inspector Gadget theme song gets stuck in my head on any given day #rockingout

[Tori Bear @ToriHannesson]

The day I stop crying at animated children’s movies is the day my inner child has truly died #neverstopthetears

[Tori Bear @ToriHannesson]

Every time I drink wine I have to decide if I can socially afford to shove all people to the fringes as I take the main stage for the evening. The answer is always yes but I know everyone be praying for me to ask for a beer or something instead and shut the hell up.

[Tori Bear @ToriHannesson]

You know you got them good jokes when you have to confirm that you were indeed making a joke #dudeneedsnewjokes

[Tori Bear @ToriHannesson]

Me and my sister just finished a puzzle she got for Christmas. Before Monopoly had families wanting to murder each other, there were puzzles #fam #toomuchdamnbluesky

[Tori Bear @ToriHannesson]

A lady at work today said “yuppers” in the angriest way I’ve ever heard in my life. Didn’t think it was possible #miraclesdohappened

[Tori Bear @ToriHannesson]

It’s been one hell of a year. Graduated university, went to Greece and Jamaica. Surrounded myself with the best of the best of people and hope next year is filled with just as much laughter, friendship, drinks and of course some more traveling! #goodbye2017hello2018

[Tori Bear @ToriHannesson]

You didn’t ask but yes I do want your unwashed hands touching my hair when it’s all nice and curly. I don’t know you or like you but please go ahead. #myhairisntmyown #justaskme

[Tori Bear @ToriHannesson]

Saw a trailer for 50 shades freed and it reminded me of handmaids tale. I don’t think that was what 50 shades was going for...but holla at haindmaids for being super relevant! #tvtruth

[Tori Bear @ToriHannesson]

Nothing's better than doing strangely acrobatic stretches in the morning. But nothing is worse than getting caught doing them at work.

[Tori Bear @ToriHannesson]

People be like "I'm health conscious now." You ate fun dip & green ketchup with the rest of us, the damage is done my friend, have a cookie

[Tori Bear @ToriHannesson]

Rn I am 90% popsicle, 10% bloodlust #heatwave #toohot

[Tori Bear @ToriHannesson]

It's fight night!! And not just because my family is visiting! #TeamMcGregor #McGregorVsMayweather