The Toronto Harold

Toronto’s Least Trusted Source in News

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After defeating the Ottawa Senators and advancing to the second round of the playoffs, Leafs captain Auston Matthews has been forced to cancel his golf plans this weekend.

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“I NEED this” stated the Conservative leader.

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The Ontario Premier appeared on the popular podcast and explained to the Daddy Gang why the US and Canada need to resolve the ongoing trade disputes.

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The president has stated he will be implementing heavy reciprocal tariffs on the fictional European nation beginning this Friday.

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“I really miss my air fryer, but I don’t want to unpack everything just to pack up again in a month,” Carney said regarding the Prime Minister’s official residence.

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The US president stated that Canadians are more unified than they have ever been, all thanks to him.

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Fuckboy Santa Leaves Canadian Children’s Letters On Read

https://t.co/W7YrjBPK4V

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Canadian Government Admits Manitoba Doesn’t Actually Exist
https://t.co/P2YnAf5JG7

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Doug Ford Announces Beer And Wine At Park Drinking Fountains
https://t.co/EZb7iCAQRq

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On a completely unrelated note Happy Diwali everyone!

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Doug Ford Claims Ontario Place Needed To Be Bulldozed To Clear Space For Taylor Swift’s Private Jet
https://t.co/TVMK9NrCtF

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Plan your weekend commute accordingly. Regular subway service will resume in 2027.

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It was announced by the city that your best friend Matthew will be replaced by a 23-story residential building.

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The former grounds of the Science Centre have been repurposed and reopened as a Spirit Halloween. The seasonal retailer has taken over the entirety of the Don Mills location to provide Toronto shoppers spooks and freights on the former grounds of the science museum.