Total Mom Move

Proud wife and new momma. Just trying to figure out this whole parenthood thing.

[Total Mom Move @Total_Mom_Move_]

Before kids: 30 minute shower, full body exfoliation
After: Dear God just let me get 3 minutes under running water and I'm good 👌 #momlife

[Total Mom Move @Total_Mom_Move_]

The sound that a toy makes when the batteries are going dead is worse than the actual sound the toy makes #momlife

[Total Mom Move @Total_Mom_Move_]

Some days you're doing good holding it together.......then other days there's chocolate... #momlife

[Total Mom Move @Total_Mom_Move_]

Slowly coming to the realization that I will forever look like I'm 4 months pregnant...#momlife

[Total Mom Move @Total_Mom_Move_]

When your "I'm just tired face" becomes your every day face.... #momlife #totalmommove

[Total Mom Move @Total_Mom_Move_]

One day you're out running 4 miles, the next you're eating chocolate icing out of the container....motherhood is tough y'all #momlife

[Total Mom Move @Total_Mom_Move_]

I was just called "ma'am" at the grocery store and I don't know how I feel about it yet....😐 #momlife

[Total Mom Move @Total_Mom_Move_]

I'm too tired to get up off the couch and go to bed.... the struggle is real #momlife #totalmommove

[Total Mom Move @Total_Mom_Move_]

"Your hair looks so pretty today!"

Me: Thanks, I washed it. 😒

#momlife #totalmommove

[Total Mom Move @Total_Mom_Move_]

Paying in exact change and not caring about the looks everyone in line is giving you... #momlife

[Total Mom Move @Total_Mom_Move_]

Date night before kids: steak dinner, nice movie

After: Pjs on the couch eating left over taco dip and drinking peach schnapps #momlife

[Total Mom Move @Total_Mom_Move_]

Just realized I slept all night with a rolled up dirty diaper in my bed....awesome 👌 #momlife

[Total Mom Move @Total_Mom_Move_]

Prerequisite for parenthood: must be really really good at keeping track of bowel movements 💩 #momlife #totalmommove

[Total Mom Move @Total_Mom_Move_]

Men: stop expecting a medal every time you do housework

Congratulations...you're an adult

#totalmommove #momlife #wifelife

[Total Mom Move @Total_Mom_Move_]

I went through 9 months of nausea, heartburn, and sushi restriction for my child to look just like her dad. 😐 #momlife #totalmommove

[Total Mom Move @Total_Mom_Move_]

Me: I really want to make more meals at home and eat healthier.

Also me: So.........how about pizza again tonight?

#momlife #totalmommove

[Total Mom Move @Total_Mom_Move_]

I miss the days of staying up until 2am watching Netflix and eating Kit Kats....oh wait....I still do that. #momlife #totalmommove

[dadpression @Dadpression]

"I'm going to put this wine in the fridge. I need you to not touch it so I can sip it and not kill myself tomorrow."
- My Wife on Parenting

[Total Mom Move @Total_Mom_Move_]

Marriage: sending pics of feminine products to your husband when he goes to the store so he knows what to get... #wifelife #momlife

[Total Mom Move @Total_Mom_Move_]

3-hour season finale of The Bachelorette? Don't mind if I do.... #momlife #totalmommove #teampeter #BacheloretteFinale