Heather Totton

[BRYCEWOLLMANN!!! @TheBigAndSexy70]

Just had some pizza for lunch

[Heather Totton @TottonHeather]

Spotify Wrapped but for soups consumed?

[Heather Totton @TottonHeather]

I don’t shoplift but when I go through self check out I do pay for red delicious apples instead of honey crisp apples because they are slightly cheaper

[Heather Totton @TottonHeather]

Yes, he is a service dog.
What does he do?
He tells me when I’m on my period.

[coppertone bb @coppertonebb]

u ever eat salmon so good it makes u feel like a grizzly bear standing in the river

[JUMEX 🪶 @vmpchriis]

when i send “🎳” yk what i mean

[Heather Totton @TottonHeather]

sitting in a coffee shop by a woman who is anti-Oxford comma… tensions are heightened, palpable, and unbearable

[Heather Totton @TottonHeather]

Jokes on you. I pay my therapy bill with my credit card and get cash back for that shit.

[Heather Totton @TottonHeather]

I’m the third friend that walks in the back when there’s only room for two to walk on the sidewalk

[Heather Totton @TottonHeather]

augie students always talking about how rough it is walking up to third floor humanities but im not hearing any of them talking about the intense urge to take a dump every time they walk into the fsc. can’t be just me.

[Heather Totton @TottonHeather]

Don’t forget to send your ex a Happy Easter text

[Heather Totton @TottonHeather]

@aarbobo5 Good one

[Heather Totton @TottonHeather]

Do y’all drive to the closest gas station to take a 💩 or are you normal?

[Heather Totton @TottonHeather]

@Thee_JackWilson my mom always said that ‘s’more’ is an abbreviation of ‘some more’ because when you eat one you might want some more 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Heather Totton @TottonHeather]

7x8=56

[brain dump @name_redacted_]

what was your favorite multiplication as a child mine was 7x7=49

[Lex. @Lexiscott9]

I miss Bagel Boy

[Heather Totton @TottonHeather]

Having read receipts on is a power move that I am not willing to make.

[Heather Totton @TottonHeather]

#NewProfilePic