Teddy Pinnederass

[Teddy Pinnederass @Tpinnederass]

Kurt Russell

[Elma @oelma__]

Who is the best actor in the picture?

[Teddy Pinnederass @Tpinnederass]

TALLLLL fuckinn glass of OJ hold the pulp

[Chef 👩🏻‍🍳 @chefsevenn]

Be honest, what is the best drink for this breakfast?
🥤 🚨

[Teddy Pinnederass @Tpinnederass]

I don’t give a fuck what you say, Mrs. Blow Job just got y’all prolly 50x more sales than you would have gotten otherwise

[QVC @QVC]

Just checking in…how’s everyone else’s week going? 😅

[Teddy Pinnederass @Tpinnederass]

Hey, they wanna take it to wacky town let’s meet them in the middle….

[Selene Mariposa @Selene_Mariposa]

He did not file a lawsuit.

He filed paperwork.

Enes Kanter Freedom, third overall pick in the 2011 draft, eleven NBA seasons, 748 games, six foot ten and 250 pounds, has declared himself eligible for the WNBA draft in April of 2027.

Here is the part that makes it clever rather than merely funny.

He is not claiming to be a woman.

He said that "if simply declaring who you are is all that's required," then he meets every requirement, and asked only that the rules be applied equally. He went out of his way to say he is not mocking any community or anyone's personal choices.

That is not a punchline. That is a compliance filing.

Because this week a Fever coach said she lacked sufficient biological information to weigh in on males in women's sport, and a Valkyries forward said she would welcome a trans athlete on her team or against her team any time.

Somebody wrote all of that down.

So the league now has three doors, and every one of them is the story.

Door one. They reject him because he is male. That concedes the category is biological, which is the sentence they have spent years refusing to say out loud, and Sophie Cunningham is owed an apology in writing.

Door two. They reject him on some other ground. Age, tryouts, prior league, whatever the lawyers can find. But he meets the published criteria, and every workaround they invent is a rule they could have written for the real question and chose not to.

Door three. They admit there is no written standard at all.

That is the one nobody is ready for, and I suspect it is the true one.

Meanwhile the phones are apparently ringing.

Rumor has it Diana Nowitzka has been feeling like a woman lately and is weighing her options. Dwayna Waid is said to be intrigued. Tonya Parkes is reportedly stretching. Carmela Anthone has told people she is at peace with herself and available in April.

None of that is confirmed. Neither is anything else in this story, which is the point.

And so, at long last, let the tanking begin.

Somewhere a front office is running the numbers on a six foot ten prospect with 748 games of NBA tape. The 2027 lottery just became the most valuable object in professional basketball.

Start losing now. Thank me in April.

He is never going to play in that league. He knows it. Everyone knows it.

He is going to make them write down why not.

That is the whole fight, and it always was.

Nobody in that league has to lose a game to lose this one.

They just have to answer the letter.

🦋

[Teddy Pinnederass @Tpinnederass]

This fuckin geek kills me. Of course he’s the lead guy as far as MLB insiders. Baseball knows how to shoot itself in the fucking foot every time lol

[claire rogers @kclairerogers]

Congrats on the Masters win btw

[Teddy Pinnederass @Tpinnederass]

She gon suck him dry within 3 years time and I don’t mean the good suckin

[Indiana Pacers @Pacers]

The Haliburtons are in the house for tonight’s @indianafever game 💍

[Teddy Pinnederass @Tpinnederass]

Tom Brady is a cornball 🤡

[Teddy Pinnederass @Tpinnederass]

Skrilla ain’t gotta clue where he at

[SAY CHEESE! 👄🧀 @SaycheeseDGTL]

Skrilla shares new video with Keyshia Cole 👩‍❤️‍👨

[Teddy Pinnederass @Tpinnederass]

25 dollar cheeseburger 😂😂😂😂

[Owen @miseblock]

Touching the face of god

[Teddy Pinnederass @Tpinnederass]

What a summation of courage on your part David…. 🤡

[Dave Portnoy @stoolpresidente]

Caitlin Clark didnt play great tonight. 2 huge missed free throws down the stretch and a huge turnover at the end of OT. No excuses. She sucked. Thats the beauty of me. I always answer the bell good, bad or indifferent. Need more leaders taking accountability like I just did

[Teddy Pinnederass @Tpinnederass]

@BigCartiier That’s good shit Carti, KEEP GOIN!!

[Teddy Pinnederass @Tpinnederass]

Ya we in a simulation fa sho I guess keep feeding me that blue pill

[Sarah Langs @SlangsOnSports]

George Lombard Jr.: 33 degrees, 100.2 mph
Jacob: 33 degrees, 99.9 mph

Both in 2nd PA, off a breaking ball, hit to left center

Against a Cardinals affiliate

In their respective MLB/MiLB debuts

I love baseball

[MD @mike_daddino]

Watch George Lombard Jr. make his Yankees debut

[Teddy Pinnederass @Tpinnederass]

Respectfully, just cause you old as fuck and famous doesn’t mean you have the right to be a dickhead. Ain’t nobody give a flying fuck bout you in 2016 Jerry. Great balls of fire was dog shit. I would have told you to get fucked after the second question.

[Todd Spence @Todd_Spence]

In 2016, Jerry Lewis gave one of the best interviews ever where he had absolutely zero patience 😂

[Teddy Pinnederass @Tpinnederass]

Only in 2026 am I able to see Kwame Browns bitch ass talking shit about LeBron James 🤡🤡🤡🤡 we really gotta purge the internet and reset to factory settings

[Fastbreak Hoops @FastbreakHoops5]

Kwame Brown on how genuine LeBron James is.

[Teddy Pinnederass @Tpinnederass]

I don’t give a fuck, women are nasty 🤢 this bitch said “lips, lint, discharge” in the same sentence you best cover up that nasty hole.

[Anti-Feminism Australia @AntiFeminismAU]

There’s a new trend where feminists don’t wear underwear anymore.

[Teddy Pinnederass @Tpinnederass]

😂😂😂common sense has left the building and may never enter again

[Clay Travis @ClayTravis]

Minneapolis news anchor tees off on me for putting $10 million on the line in high school boys vs WNBA champs wager. Enjoy.

[Teddy Pinnederass @Tpinnederass]

This best be AI

[Yankeesource @YankeeSource]

The Yankees know who the player is now and who they will be in the future, so we’re in good hands right ?

[Teddy Pinnederass @Tpinnederass]

This is how I know I’m either out of touch or flat out born in the wrong simulation. Every Luke combs song sounds the exact same. Mediocre as fuck. I will never understand the appeal. Maybe it’s cause I grew up listening to real country music (Conway,George Jones, Keith Whitley)

[Country Limits @CountryL1imits]

Luke Combs breaks record as first solo country artist to headline Wembley Stadium in London👀🔥

Bro SOLD OUT 90,000 people 3 nights in a row. Legendary.

[Teddy Pinnederass @Tpinnederass]

That man skipping around that stage flipping that hair 😂😂😂 got damn I love it

[TheeMarketingMamí @WizMonifaaa]

LMAO i wouldve been running around the arena