Train Slut

fuck bitches get food

[Lauren Jauregui @LaurenJauregui]

.@realDonaldTrump

[Train Slut @TrainSlut]

Seeing those texts was my destiny. Any Hunky Chunky’s lady, if you’re out there, I want to be your friend. Happy Friday, ya’ll

[Train Slut @TrainSlut]

And: “I’ll be pussylently waiting.”

[Train Slut @TrainSlut]

Among the messages she sent were: “i 100% guarantee you won’t be fckn disappointed in the surprise i have for you.”

[Train Slut @TrainSlut]

She was texting someone who she had listed in her phone as “Hunky Chunky.”

[Train Slut @TrainSlut]

Since I am nosy and have no moral compass, I looked at her phone to see what she was doing.

[Train Slut @TrainSlut]

After much shuffling and rearranging, I had the luck to find myself next to a woman at exactly the right moment.

[Train Slut @TrainSlut]

You see, I don’t normally go into the office on Fridays, but today I decided I’d make the trek. Oh boy am I glad I did.

[Train Slut @TrainSlut]

Do y'all believe in fate? Because after the morning commute I had... I do.

[Train Slut @TrainSlut]

@realDonaldTrump Ugh how/why aren't you dead yet?

[Chelsea E. Manning @xychelsea]

So, im already enjoying my first hot, greasy pizza 😋

https://t.co/ctZ8NdrV16

#ChelseaIsFree

[Jay Smooth @jsmooth995]

Please note: in Trump World liberal protesters are paid, but he expects his to work for free. https://t.co/pHSwVysETb

[Jennifer Espinoza @sadqueer4life]

to "ghost" someone means to cut off all contact and to "ghost (1990)" someone means to communicate w them solely via whoopi goldberg

[Train Slut @TrainSlut]

Most common search term to get to my page in the last yr? "How to train your slut" #thanksGoogle

[Train Slut @TrainSlut]

I'm baaaack: https://t.co/RZingY1hx8

[Train Slut @TrainSlut]

The Anthem by Good Charlotte just came up on Spotify shuffle. I did not skip it. And I am not ashamed.

[Train Slut @TrainSlut]

The worst part of post-college life: having to pay for condoms. #adulting

[Train Slut @TrainSlut]

Hey mom. Unfollow me so I can write things that are funny and not worry about giving you a heart attack.

[Train Slut @TrainSlut]

Reasons I'm bad at sexting: everything feels like a setup for an amazing punchline.

[Train Slut @TrainSlut]

I #StandWithPP. Change your profile pic and show your support for reproductive health & rights! → http://t.co/Kfdt1WB3Tr