My cryptid indie game We Don't Exist I just announced has already hit 10,000 WISHLISTS on Steam in ONLY 3 DAYS!! CRAZINESS!! Thank you so much I can't even keep up 💜
Alright listen up Internet Names, I’m going to be doing two things this evening: Talking on the Internet, Drawing Pictures and Lying About my Scheduled Activities let’s gooooooooo
https://t.co/NCsWlBoJbJ
Kobold facts: if you have misplaced a salt shaker and have looked everywhere for it, we’re super sorry but the dragon was upset that their hamburger helper wasn’t right and we were out of salt and Bez was like ‘they have salt over there’ and I was ‘we can’t just’ and we did and
Kobold facts: dragons will designate the most calm and still members of their kobold minions as their board game squad - these rare, brave kobolds are used as game pieces in dragon-sized games of checkers, chess, Sorry!, Trouble, Hi Ho Kobold-O, and - a favorite - MouseTrap.
Kobold facts: crossbows are a fundamental part of kobold education and, as such, are always undergoing experimentation and modification. Warrens sometimes look like old black & white movies of crazy flying-machine failures, but with a lot more puncture wounds and screaming.
Kobold facts: kobold pets are still firmly planted in the mundane. Sometimes kobolds will take up more exotic species, and they will diligently care for them as they would any other pet; this is unfortunately how things like Phase Spiders become large, populous, and well-fed.
Kobold facts: donuts are often served on kobolds’ horns as they dash by on their way to work; this is extremely convenient except for forgetful kobolds, who will often find themselves the butt of many jokes if they arrive with a donut still on their head.
Kobold facts: a fairly popular kobold axiom - “it is not the size of the kobold in the fight, but the size of the stealth ballista lurking in the shadows within backstab range.”
Kobold facts: kobolds make excellent convention booth staff, not only for their enthusiasm and quick wit, but because they can sleep at the booth overnight for added security and hotel savings.
This kobold is at #AnimeSTL this weekend! Stop on over, it’s an awesome show!
Kobold facts: mud is an important resource for kobolds—as a construction material, art medium and (sometimes) weapon, mud is an improviser’s dream in the deep murk of à kobold warren. These are also popular excuses for hatchlings tramping dirty feet all over a clean cave.
Kobold facts: kobolds are comfortable with blood tests and draws, and are often brought in to help their dragons do the same. They are often equipped with kobold-made lollipops to coax their dragon and distract them from the needle. Six kobolds are needed to wield the big lolly
Kobold facts: young dragons can be intimidated by their kobolds. The zeal of kobolds when in their presence can be overwhelming and disorienting, especially if they get t-shirts printed up. Kobolds can be quieted (and further excited) by judicious use of force and intimidation.
Kobold facts: kobolds actually prefer big over-ear long coiled cable headphones to earbuds, mainly because it’s easier for Roy to know when they are ignoring him or if they’re just rockin’ to some tunes. Additional issue: finding a 1 1/4” phono plug to USB-C adapter.
Kobold facts: the mirror is a crowded place in the morning for kobold warrens, as everyone is trying to wash, moisturize and sunscreen their scales at the same time. Dragon-sized mirrors unfortunately provide less than half the warren (and their dragon) space for preening.
Kobold facts: kobolds mark zones of caution, construction and general hazard with safety cones. These are an easy and effective way to prevent accidents in warrens in and most industrialized areas. These cones were generously ‘donated’ hats from recently-deceased gnomes.