Sam

Talk to me NICE man

[Sam @TrapManSam]

*riley wins $812 gambling and looks at me*
“yo.... Applebee’s?”

[Nick Mullen @nycguidovoice]

You say: “Israel should nuke Gaza”
We hear: “the mossad has a video of me fucking a toddler”

[Sam @TrapManSam]

“Isn’t that your third glass of wine?”
“Isn’t this your third marriage?”

[Raymond Sanchez @RaySan210]

When people ask Travis Kelce (@tkelce) how his day is going anytime this week:

[Field Yates @FieldYates]

Mahomes is ABSURD!

(🎥: @Chiefs)

[Sam @TrapManSam]

“Do you wanna get breakfast tomorrow? Because I have to buy you a plan B”

[Sam @TrapManSam]

I have fifteen years of sobriety for no reason- my mother

[Sam @TrapManSam]

“No gay shit I kinda want a water”

[Sam @TrapManSam]

“I had all these old people laughing at me so I was like stfu you’re literally gonna die soon”

[Sam @TrapManSam]

“You look like ypu should be sipping a daiquiri on the beach”
Yeah well I’m sipping a mango monster in the back of an Uber so

[Sam @TrapManSam]

Why would I post my mom for Mother’s Day? Yung Gravy exists dawg

[Sam @TrapManSam]

“Pistachio? I’m like pistachi-YOOOO”

[Sam @TrapManSam]

@schwaynk quotes from today: a thread

[Sam @TrapManSam]

“I don’t need any medication, I just need to pop a couple rattlers”

[Sam @TrapManSam]

“In high school the called me the ‘rrito slopper! I was sloppin’ ‘ritos left and right!”

[Sam @TrapManSam]

“I hate myself so much that I’ll never leave a woman and she needs to know that”

[Sam @TrapManSam]

“In cornhole I’m the closer. Not like the baseball pitcher, but like the middle aged blonde bitch that solves crime on TV”

[Sam @TrapManSam]

*looks at $1 flip flops* “GIMME THOOOOOSE”

[🌨️ @NotLikeRuss]

@AdamSchefter The Raiders after paying Devante so Tyreek would leave

[Sam @TrapManSam]

And just like that…… the Chiefs are the weakest team in the AFC West

[Sam @TrapManSam]

Chills

[NCAA Men's Wrestling @NCAAWrestling]

No words can describe this moment.

📺 ESPN

#NCAAWrestling x @GopherWrestling x @GableSteveson