Travel Envoy

Global Travel Support and Assistance. Available wherever you need.

[Travel Envoy @TravelEnvoy]

Whoever you are, I promise your holiday is much too short to waste any of it trying to successfully use one of these...

[Travel Envoy @TravelEnvoy]

@nt_scones @NTDyrhamPark Waddesdon Manor was spotted doubling as a French château for some exterior shots in Carry on Don't Lose Your Head.

[Travel Envoy @TravelEnvoy]

I really think I preferred the Dirty Tricks era to this...

[British Airways @British_Airways]

Hey @VirginAtlantic, so excited about today! It’s been amazing seeing everyone at the airport excited to fly again to the US. Wait til’ they see what we have in store 😉 #BritsAreBack 🇬🇧🇺🇸

[Travel Envoy @TravelEnvoy]

@DavidDonlan4 @BBCNews What's the point you're making? For over £100 you'll need to use your PIN anyway. Are you saying you'll opt to use your PIN for purchases between £45-100 even though it's unnecessary? Anyone who stole your card wouldn't need to use PIN so can you clarify what you'll be achieving?

[Travel Envoy @TravelEnvoy]

@Daily_Record Your headline is wrong and misleading. This investigation only covers flights which*were not cancelled* by the airline. https://t.co/TYvTGGlSje

[Travel Envoy @TravelEnvoy]

@PA Your headline is misleading. The investigation doesn't relate to flights cancelled by airlines. It relates only to flights which *were not cancelled* but which passengers couldn't legally take due to government restrictions in place at the time. Check the CMA press release again

[Travel Envoy @TravelEnvoy]

@LBC Your headline is wrong and misleading. This investigation only relates to flights which*were not cancelled* by the airline. https://t.co/TYvTGGlSje

[Travel Envoy @TravelEnvoy]

@PA Your headline is misleading. The investigation doesn't relate to flights cancelled by airlines. It relates only to flights which *were not cancelled* but which passengers couldn't legally take due to government restrictions in place at the time. Check the CMA press release again

[Travel Envoy @TravelEnvoy]

@MENnewsdesk You need to try again with this headline which is currently misleading. The investigation specifically covers only flights which *were not cancelled* by the airline. https://t.co/TYvTGGlSje

[Travel Envoy @TravelEnvoy]

@PA Your headline is misleading. The investigation doesn't relate to flights cancelled by airlines. It relates only to flights which *were not cancelled* but which passengers couldn't legally take due to government restrictions in place at the time. Check the CMA press release again

[Travel Envoy @TravelEnvoy]

@PA Your headline is misleading. The investigation doesn't relate to flights cancelled by airlines. It relates only to flights which *were not cancelled* but which passengers couldn't legally take due to government restrictions in place at the time. Check the CMA press release again

[Travel Envoy @TravelEnvoy]

@fesshole A police photo-fit has got me conflicted
The office arsehole was clearly depicted
It was a coincidence which
Compelled me to snitch
How'd I know he'd be wrongly convicted?

[Travel Envoy @TravelEnvoy]

@fesshole Fine dining with my potential Greek boss
I practiced language that I'm not yet across
He talked earnings and ratio
I demanded fellatio
And wrote my promotion off as a loss

[Travel Envoy @TravelEnvoy]

@fesshole While in training on a housing estate
The local teens are quite quick to berate
They say my gait is a lasses
I fled from their masses
Trying to cover my shiny bald pate

[Travel Envoy @TravelEnvoy]

@fesshole Marital working from home has its merit
Call your own "quickie scrum" if you dare it
Make it a private invite
For PM delight
Or next week we'll request you screen share it

[Travel Envoy @TravelEnvoy]

@fesshole In the decade of long lunches quite boozy
I saw a fountain and my plan was a doozie
Shoppers stopped as they passed
Many looked on aghast
And cried look at that fucked up jacuzzi
#NationalLimerickDay

[Travel Envoy @TravelEnvoy]

@fesshole If entertaining baby is quite the to-do
The boob-switch trick comes to my rescue
My laughter's just like a drain
But no one can explain
How pulling my plonker now flushes the loo
#NationalLimerickDay

[Travel Envoy @TravelEnvoy]

@EdMBNL @fesshole Hope you're aware it's your national day today. Please keep them coming. #NationalLimerickDay

[Travel Envoy @TravelEnvoy]

@fesshole I love spas cus I picked the wrong'un to marry
But forget ylang-ylang in this sanctuary
No time for tea at the Ritz
When I'm gettin' ripped to the tits
And the facials are from every Tom Dick or Harry

[Travel Envoy @TravelEnvoy]

@fesshole Some say the global pandemic's been hard
3 mil deaths I calmly disregard
I've been banking up cash
Commuting's gone out of fash
Sadiq can shove his all-zone travelcard

[Travel Envoy @TravelEnvoy]

@fesshole During restrictions from her majesty's gov
There are sexy encounters that I'm not above
It could all be avoided
If only my boy did
His fair share with the marigold gloves

[Travel Envoy @TravelEnvoy]

@fesshole When my zoom catch-ups are less than inspired
My offspring can be temporarily hired
What the participants can't see
Is with my phone on my knee
I'm sending a WhatsApp: "Urgent Exit Required"

[Travel Envoy @TravelEnvoy]

@fesshole In the workplace you must stay ahead
See opportunity when your colleague drops dead
From fraud to harassment and assault
Misconduct's never your fault
Just say "it was the stiff guy" instead

[Travel Envoy @TravelEnvoy]

@fesshole When you arrive with your confirmed hotel booking
The front-desk staff are smart and good looking
But if you see red mist
You're straight on their shit-list
It's the spam special for your inbox they're cooking