Travis Hoewischer

Writer. Comedian. Editor. Bald.

[Travis Hoewischer @Travis_614]

I think the most difficult thing our teachers and historians will have to explain is how Donald Trump was an underdog.

[Travis Hoewischer @Travis_614]

@DegenerateTBone Can’t change your gender but you can give your child a serial number as a name. DIPSHIT. 😂

[Travis Hoewischer @Travis_614]

@RHoewischer @Wapak_Baseball “ADJUSTA WRIST” 😂

[Travis Hoewischer @Travis_614]

@itsmadisontoyou @justacatdaddy Man. How can I hate AND love the Internet so much all at the same time: https://t.co/tM2KlaAPjP

[Travis Hoewischer @Travis_614]

@justacatdaddy @itsmadisontoyou This has all the makings of a man going prematurely bald. *they’ll never know your secret if you keep it under this GIANT HAT

[Travis Hoewischer @Travis_614]

@justacatdaddy Let me know if you find any. Looking as well.

[Travis Hoewischer @Travis_614]

@MattFinkes Could also be that people are being cautious about COVID.

[Travis Hoewischer @Travis_614]

One of the many reasons I ❤️ Harmony. Where else can you actually feel uplifted on Twitter?

[Harmony Project Columbus @harmonycolumbus]

@Travis_614 Sending a little random ❤️ your way on #RandomActsofKindnessDay, Travis! We hope you're having a good week!

[Travis Hoewischer @Travis_614]

@CD929fm @TwoDollarRadio I love Brian Phillips and the @CD929fm crew almost as much as I love shitting on helpless infants.

[CD 92.9 FM @CD929fm]

Author of "Naming Your Baby", a book of unique baby-name roasts out now via @TwoDollarRadio: Travis Hoewischer (@Travis_614) was our latest guest on Brian's Burn Barrel of the Apocalypse!

Catch the full episode here: https://t.co/kMZMEZ5kZB

[SportsCenter @SportsCenter]

Mac Jones went from DM'ing to get a recruiting page set up to winning the National Championship 👏🏆 @MacJones_10 @AlabamaFTBL

(via @RivalsWoody)

[Kim Mangone’s Spirit @KimMangone]

Good afternoon America, retweet if you think Ted Cruz is a traitor.

[Albert Brooks @AlbertBrooks]

I’m a very suspicious person. Last year I wished everybody a happy new year and look what happened. So this year, from the bottom of my heart, fuck you.

[Two Dollar Radio HQ @TwoDollarHQ]

Ohio’s “find ~*it*~ here” slogan not really hitting the right way this year

[Travis Hoewischer @Travis_614]

@TwoDollarRadio I never could trust a Brad. Until now.

[Travis Hoewischer @Travis_614]

By far my favorite Brad. This was a lot of damn fun.

[Jason Patterson 📚📜🗜🎨 @jason_patterson]

She is worth 500 million dollars. She's is the wealthiest United States senator. She is running against a man who grew up in the projects.

[Travis Hoewischer @Travis_614]

Thanks Gary!

[Two Dollar Radio @TwoDollarRadio]

Names are important. Behold, the subtle difference in spelling and how it can affect a child's path.

Jayden: Outgoing
Jaeden: Loyal
Jaydin: Hot dogs

(from the Two Dollar Radio Guide to Naming Your Baby by Travis Hoewischer, drops 11/17)