original trench 🥲

still cries at a good film. still kisses with saliva.

[original trench 🥲 @TrenchMcMahon]

Downloaded a joke of the day app, thereby becoming the real joke of the day.

[original trench 🥲 @TrenchMcMahon]

I wish it was professionally acceptable to respond to ppl who haven’t responded to your email in a week with “Bump” and they’d take the hint. Much easier than trying to politely ask again and again.

[original trench 🥲 @TrenchMcMahon]

@nancyveronika Haha ik and not even for anything major. Just a lab basically.

[original trench 🥲 @TrenchMcMahon]

Inversely, fuck you for your charge of $910.20 to my bank account! xoxo

[original trench 🥲 @TrenchMcMahon]

My tire has a nail stuck in it...

[original trench 🥲 @TrenchMcMahon]

I highly recommend this book. #tearsaremylife

[original trench 🥲 @TrenchMcMahon]

Day off = chore day, I guess?

[Kimberley Johnson @AuthorKimberley]

Remember when Republicans canceled The Dixie Chicks?

[original trench 🥲 @TrenchMcMahon]

People who go to the gym every day are dismal, boring people.

[SparkNotes @SparkNotes]

Me and the girls once we get the vaccine

[original trench 🥲 @TrenchMcMahon]

Is this me starting a trend?

Ans:

[original trench 🥲 @TrenchMcMahon]

IYKYK

[original trench 🥲 @TrenchMcMahon]

Nobody:
Me: *worried that Yummy is going to show up in my Spotify Wrapped for the next 10 years*

[original trench 🥲 @TrenchMcMahon]

Me in 10 hours:

[original trench 🥲 @TrenchMcMahon]

@nancyveronika You don’t. Just embrace them.

[Eric Smith @ericsmithrocks]

Please stop putting “aspiring writer” in your bio, friends.

You don’t have to be published to call yourself a writer.

If you have a dozen unused needlessly expensive notebooks and a desire to purchase more, you’re a writer.

[Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC]

Very wealthy people already have a student loan forgiveness program. It’s called their parents.

The idea that millionaires and billionaires are willingly letting their kids drown in federal student loans & that’s why we can’t go big on forgiveness is about as silly as it sounds.

[LaBreezeana,⚜️ @Labreezeana]

The IRS really HATES single people with no kids. 😒

[original trench 🥲 @TrenchMcMahon]

@KCCINews Iowa continually being an embarrassment. Do better.