trevor mallÉ

[trevor mallÉ @TrevMalley]

@JJ_McCullough Hahaha it really is one of the dumber things that Canadians keep saying, which betrays a somewhat baffling provincialism you'd think that they'd be more self-conscious of in order to ya know avoid embarrassing us in front of Americans

[trevor mallÉ @TrevMalley]

Officer I did not murder this home intruder it was somebody else, yeah had to be. I guess someone must've broke into my house first and cleaned the scene just after eviscerating this guy and left him in my sink. I must have slept right through it. So sad... Tragic really.

[trevor mallÉ @TrevMalley]

@PodskeeWeeWee Hamilton is the best watch for neutral fans. A non stop roller coaster. Leads the league in 2 & Outs, leads the league in points. Can't kill the team for their performance today, but would have been sweet to cap off Shai day with a win streak that fans haven't seen for decades.

[trevor mallÉ @TrevMalley]

@MashTunTimmy Congrats to the kid! I'm sure they'll be great

[trevor mallÉ @TrevMalley]

Maybe nobody knows what they want, that's a decent theory. But I've been told maybe people just don't want to admit what they want, but know it deep down. Luckily, you can just treat people the same regardless of what's true. Just inflict yourself on them and see if they like it.

[trevor mallÉ @TrevMalley]

@JadeAtrophis Incredible

[trevor mallÉ @TrevMalley]

Must be - a devil - between us
A horse in my head

A Ford, Taurus

A horse in my bed

[trevor mallÉ @TrevMalley]

@2canSamR I thought this was common knowledge 😅

[trevor mallÉ @TrevMalley]

@2canSamR Love it 😍

[trevor mallÉ @TrevMalley]

@ProjectKnee Always a delight watching your clips!

[trevor mallÉ @TrevMalley]

@wanyeburkett This might help, if you have to plug your ears you don't actually put your finger in your ear right? You just close the hole by pushing part of the ear over it. Do that but with your thumb or knuckle push in with that part pretty fast over and over, kind of like you're plunging.

[trevor mallÉ @TrevMalley]

@Stello_Official @ScottAdamsSays I feel the same way about Scott. He really gave me immeasurable relief. There were things about the world, people, and myself that caused me to have persistent negative emotional reactions I couldn't make sense of, and for 10 years he provided perspective that ameliorated them.

[trevor mallÉ @TrevMalley]

@wanyeburkett Missed your Catholic ass, Happy Easter Monday <3

[trevor mallÉ @TrevMalley]

@Mxlo_M_ Happiest place on Earth

[trevor mallÉ @TrevMalley]

@MysteryGrove Incredible piece

[trevor mallÉ @TrevMalley]

American farmers with unfettered access to the world market will turn every human being into an American (you are what you eat)

[trevor mallÉ @TrevMalley]

Getting a new bio engineered Tortoise shell for the roof of my house estimated life expectancy 500 years it also comes with a brand new Gargantuan Tortoise (Lil Bill) who sucks carbon right out of the air (to generate his solar beam home defense technique)

Net zero life :)

[trevor mallÉ @TrevMalley]

It may seem difficult to endorse the legalization of ninja swords, but I think it's a winning issue. Legalize poison darts and shuriken too

[trevor mallÉ @TrevMalley]

🦬

[trevor mallÉ @TrevMalley]

The Bell Let's Talk commercials are particularly evil this year